Thursday, 8 September 2011

I'm Sick And Tired Of Always Being Sick And Tired

I did a stupid thing today. I forced myself into work and lasted less than ten minutes. My breathing has become rapidly worse over the last twenty four hours and I'm beginning to suspect I might have another infection. I knew I wasn't well getting up but I showered, changed my dressing, put on my uniform and had breakfast all the time trying to ignore what I was feeling. Usually if I get to work I start to feel better but not today. As one of my colleagues told me as I walked through the door 'you look really fucked mate'. He tends to be to the point. God dammit! I am so frustrated, I cannot remember the last time I really felt well, it is just one thing after another and it is getting me down. Luckily for me my work colleagues have more sense than I do and I was packed off home before I even managed to set up my computer.

I spent the day in bed dozing or watching whatever nonsense was on TV. As always when I'm fighting for breath I can't concentrate on anything and I don't feel like eating. The Complan really came into it's own today. I also managed lots of tea and some soup to keep me going. I've booked an appointment with my GP for tomorrow so if it  is an infection I can get treatment before the weekend arrives. Thank God for the oxygen, I would be in a real state without it. One programme that did catch my eye was an Australia documentary about a woman having a lung transplant for PH. Before the transplant she was purple, on oxygen and basically just sitting around watching DVD's and praying for a donor. She had less than a year to live. Three months after the transplant she is back singing with the Gilbert and Sullivan opera group she belongs to. How awe inspiring is that, back singing just three months after the op. I must admit to a tinge of jealousy but felt so happy for her. It is rare for PH to ever be mentioned on TV, so to come across this programme was a piece of luck.

Andrew was on edge today, he was taking his theory test as the first step to getting his full motorbike licence. He discovered that getting the full licence will bring his insurance down by at least a hundred pounds so the race is on to pass the test before the end of October. Thankfully he passed so it is now on to part two the off road bit. I would rather he was learning to drive a car but apparently that is next on the list. I have a feeling it is going to be an expensive year.