Saturday, 30 July 2011

Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues

Well yesterday I made it until around ten in the evening and then, well lets just say I was a bit under the weather. I immediately took the tablets I'd been given for such an event and went to bed only to wake up this morning groggy but OK. I have enough tablets for fourteen days by which time my body should be getting used to the increase and the sickness should be wearing off. Let's hope so, I don't want to keep going up and down on my dose. If I can't get past this I don't know what they will do, I don't know if there are anymore alternatives.

The weather is lovely but I can't really enjoy it, the tablets are doing a good job of stopping me being sick but they make me feel really weird, as though I'm not quite here. I went to work today but it was a real struggle. Not sure if I'll be able to make it tomorrow. I don't want to go off sick again, they are so short staffed that I will feel like I'm letting everyone down, again. Peter says I must concentrate on me and look after myself and that if I cannot get in then they will just have to cope. I know he is right but it makes me feel so bad.

As you can tell I'm having a bit of a down day. I hate days like these when you just can't shake off the feeling of doom and gloom. I find it especially bad when the treatment you are having to make you feel better makes you feel so much worse. I know it is, hopefully, only temporary but I still wished for improvement without consequences. I think part of the problem is that every time I've change treatment previously I've initially made huge improvements, so I kind of hoped that this would be the same. Only yesterday morning I felt quite well, now I feel crap, it's just not fair.

In other news got a phone call from my mother to thank me for the flowers I sent her for her birthday. I think she thought that the meal was the present, as if we'd do that to her.

Andrew got the job, it is only a few hours a week to start with but as I told him, some money is better than none.

Laurence went to a garage sale this morning and bought quite a few bits and pieces for his new house for only a few pounds. I'm not sure exactly what he's got as he had gone out when I returned from work but no doubt I will get a full viewing once he's back home. He is still excited but is finding the legalities and paperwork a bit bewildering. My brother has offered a load of furniture from his father in law's house, he died last year and John as executor has been trying to sell the house ever since. The house is still fully furnished so obviously they want to get rid of it all before they sell. So we are going to have to make another trip to Wales soon to collect it. Looks like I'm in for a busy few months. I wish we had people throwing stuff at us when we first set up home. So far Laurence has got the stuff from the sales this morning, loads of stuff from us such as crockery, cutlery, kettle and microwave. My mother gave him a lawn mower, strimmer, sandwich maker and knives. And now as much furniture as he wants from my brother. Oh and of course all the furniture in his room including bed, desk, computer, TV, and chest of drawers. As his luck is obviously in maybe he ought to buy a lottery ticket.