Friday, 22 April 2011

Lazing on a sunny afternoon.

Well after a rough and hectic couple of days I've finally found some downtime and am typing this while listening to the birds singing and breathing in the heady perfume of the lilac tree. Anyone would think that it was mid August not mid April. I've got loads and loads of housework to do but you know what, housework is for rainy days and as this might be the only summer we are getting this year why waste it.

So what's been happening, well Wednesday I sank into a very deep hole and spent a lot of the time weeping. The letter from the Brompton was a bit of a blow. I know I'm really ill but to see it laid out in black and white like that really hit home. I was so down I didn't know what to do with myself, work seemed so difficult. I even spent my lunch hour sitting outside in the car with all the windows down listening to music in a hope the sunny weather would lift my mood but it didn't and in the end I rang my nurse consultant for advice but as is sod's law he wasn't around so a message was passed to call me. He eventually rang back and after a long chat hypnotherapy was suggested. He said it was not unusual for people in my position to suffer bouts of severe depression and that results were good from this sort of treatment. I'm not a big fan of holistic treatments and I do not believe in hypnosis but I was desperate so agreed to give it a go. I have been referred and am waiting for an appointment.

Yesterday was a day off and most of it was spent shopping. This year my three men have decided I am not cooking the Easter Sunday lunch, they are. They have taken a course each and after much agonising settled on a menu, however it was me that ended up buying everything. some of the ingredients are rather exotic and took some tracking down but I got it all in the end. God knows what I'll be eating but have come up with a back up plan just in case it all ends in tears or, more likely, inferno. Strangely enough all the activity took my mind right off my problems and my mood has lightened considerable. The shops were hell by the way and although Peter came with me I was utterly shattered by the time we got home and all I could do was lie on the sofa until bedtime.

I slept late today and missed my first medication, ohps, but I think on this occasion the sleep did me more good. I have recovered my positive outlook and am feeling much more at peace with myself. Though sitting here in the garden might have more than a little to do with it. Peter helped me plant some carrots seeds and some basil and we've laid out plans as to where to put the tomatoes then Peter childishly squirted me with the hose so he's in bad books at the moment.

In other news Andrew completed his two trial runs with the pub and very successful they were to, he came home with £50 and a big smile on his face. They are going to look at their rota and see where he can be best fitted in with his studies and his karate. I finally put together all the paper work for the DLA and will be popping it in the post tomorrow. I've got copies because I do not trust them an inch. Ah well, I've run out of smoothie, got to get some more and then a quiet snooze before tea, it's a hard life.

20. Try hang gliding
21.  Do a tree top walk (both of these will be real challenges because I'm scared of heights)