Tuesday, 19 April 2011

I read the news today, oh boy.

Got the results of my latest batch of tests from the Brompton today. Its all doom and gloom, phrases like 'significant deterioration', 'her echocardiogram did show significantly raised PA (pulmonary artery) pressure', obviously limited' and 'severely impaired' litter the assessment. It seems they want to temporarily halt my meds so they can get an accurate picture of how bad I am. I will be in hospital for this but I'm scared stiff. I know how bad I can feel with just a small disruption so the thought of being without them at all terrifies me but if I want the transplant it has to be done.

I had a weird dream last night. I was swimming through clear warm water. The sun was shining and I was diving down following exotic fish and all without any breathing difficulty, it was wonderful. OK a dream about this weeks lottery numbers would be far more useful but as dreams go it was one of the better ones.

Work has been difficult today. I've been feeling a bit out of my depth and 'lost'. I'm restless and don't know why. I can't say it's the calls I've taken because on the whole I've had fairly reasonable people to deal with today so why the big downer? Maybe tomorrow will be better.

17. cuddle a tiger cub
18. visit the Grand Canyon