Thursday, 5 September 2013

This Old Heart Of Mine

Why is it that you just start to relax, lulled into thinking thins are going really well, your body throws you curved ball?

Last night I was sitting on the settee, relaxing whilst watching Masterchef when I started to feel, what I thought, was a hot flush coming on. Yes I am at that age. However this flush was like no other I'd ever had. Along with the crushing heat my heart started to race and I felt sick, breathless and dizzy. More alarming was the intense pain in my chest and left shoulder. I staggered to the downstairs loo and started to splash cold water on my face but had to grab the sink to stop myself keeling over. I admit by now I was feeling a little alarmed. Twenty minutes later, although my heart was still jumping around a bit, I was more or less back to normal.

This morning, apart from feeling really tired and a bit breathless and sore I'm fine though I've taken the day off as a precaution. I've contacted Carl at the Brompton for advice and am waiting on a call back. I've also booked an appointment to see my GP tomorrow morning, sadly they just couldn't fit me in today and I don't think it warrants a home visit. So with all bases covered I'm being sensible and taking things exceptionally slowly today just in case. I feel bad taking another day off work but I'd rather that than have a turn at work or worse still when driving. Best to take the time to get checked out and then I can return safe in the knowledge that all is fine next week. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

So the last week has been a bit, well, trying to be honest. There is uncertainty at work as shift patterns are changed again, the second change in nine months, and two much loved colleagues are leaving. I won't say I've been that busy but my heart and mind really were not with it this week. I found myself to be frustrated and impatient and that really isn't like me. Yes I know I express a lot of anger and frustration about my private situation but professionally I can usually put all that behind me.

Part of the problem was Andrew. In another brilliant stroke of organisation the university kicked him out of his digs one week before the end of his London placement. I can understand why, they have to get the place ready for the next intake, but this meant Andrew had to get up at four every morning for a six o'clock start. Despite his best efforts I woke up every morning to the sound of his bike firing up and then found it difficult to get back to sleep again as I lay awake hoping he'd make the journey unscathed. That's being a mum for you. The result of all this was that I'd arrive at work already tired and stressed and things would just go down hill from there. Thankfully today is his last day though I was so exhausted from last night's little turn I didn't hear a thing this morning.

So I have a day of doing nothing and waiting in to hear from the Brompton. I suspect I will be dragged in for a few tests, hopefully as a day patient, and everything will turn out fine. Right time for a nap before lunch. Will let you know what's happening tomorrow.