I got a call in the early hours of this morning, though I'm not sure what sort of call it was.
I'd just dropped off, well that's what it felt like, when I was woken up by a bright light shining in my eyes. I sat up blinking and suddenly realised my phone was buzzing away frantically on my bedside table. For a moment I was paralysed with fear and then I grabbed it, as I did it stopped buzzing and the light went off.
By now I was frantic, thinking I'd just missed the most important call in my life, but at the same time comforted by the thought that either my mobile or my home phone would start ringing again in seconds. I punch the button to look at the phone's screen and was puzzled to find it demanding my password. Now it only asks for my password if I've turned it off or the battery had gone and it's switched itself off, neither of which had happened. I tapped in my password and the phone started up. While waiting, for what seemed like hours, as it went though its start up procedure and reconnected with the network two things struck me.
My phone doesn't buzz. It has a very loud, and very distinctive ringtone that I chose specifically so I'd be able to hear it through sleep, over the car radio or if I'd left the phone in a different part of the house. The only time it is silent is in work when the flash and vibrate options are activated but even then it doesn't 'buzz'. And secondly why wasn't it in it's cover? I always put a cover over it at night so that any incoming texts or emails, where the notification tone is very quiet, doesn't wake us up by lighting up the screen.
By the time the phone had settled down I was breathing a bit easier, my home phone had stayed silent as had Peter's mobile and Andrew's mobile so it couldn't have been Papworth. I felt a strange mixture of disappointment and relief, as I always do when each day passes without a call. It is really weird to so desperately want something and yet so desperately fear it at the same time. Emotions I'm sure only those on the transplant list will ever feel or understand.
So now, right royally annoyed at having my sleep disturbed for no reason, a different type of fear hit me. What if something had happened to Laurence or Mum? I quickly paged through to my missed calls list and there was one, from Andrew. I was confused. He hadn't gone out that evening so why was he calling me at three o'clock in the morning? A quick tip toe down the corridor confirmed that he was fast asleep in his bed. I look at the list again and opened up the call. The date received was as expected Sept 13 however the date sent was August 6th. What on earth was going on? I checked my texts, emails and voicemail but nothing had been delivered in the early hours except that one call. How very, very strange.
Lying awake afterwards, mind racing, there were two things that I thought logically could have happened. Smirnoff could have sat on the phone and turned it off somehow. He often sits on my bedside table and watches me read, though how he could have turned the phone off when it has a side button is beyond me. Or the simplest and most likely explanation is the phone crashed for some reason. Again I have no idea why it would do that but these things do happen. Whichever it was it throughly unsettled me and I only dozed off again as dawn began to break.
So I finally awoke bleary eyed and with a bit of a headache at around eight. This I knew right from the start, was not going to be a good day.
I showered and had a milky coffee for breakfast. Yes I know I'm supposed to be eating and, yes, I know I shouldn't have coffee but it was only thing I could face. I didn't even feel like tea. After a shower I did a self check and was pleased to find I was no longer shivery. In fact my temperature has remained normal for over twenty four hours so I'm cutting back on the paracetamol today. My chest is still clear so the antibiotics stay in their bag and my cold symptoms have really 'come out'. I'm sneezing, feel very bunged up and my ears are crackling. However I consider this to be a good sign as things can only improve from here.
Peter has decided, now I no longer have a temperature, that I need to follow the other part of my GP's advice and get some fresh air. In fairness, whenever I have a 'thick' head I always do feel much better for going out. So he's going to drive me to Tesco's to stock up on some more fruit. I'm not sure being driven in a car or being wheeled around the fruit and veg section actually constitutes fresh air but it'll be a darn sight more interesting than sitting on the settee all day, something I've done for the last seven days. No doubt if I'm spotted someone will complain but I'm following doctor's orders and I have to eat.
I got cheered up by the arrival of the first of my orders from the Interweb. I know I'm bored when I start hitting the credit card. It was only a few pairs of slipper socks but I got quite excited. Yes, I am that bored! I prefer to walk barefoot around the house and garden as much as I can but in winter this is obviously impractical. So, after lots of experimentation with various types of slipper, I discovered slipper socks and am now wedded to them. I wear them so much I wear them out so a new supply has to be bought every year.
Right time for lunch and then off for my illicit raid on Tesco. Bit of a rebel aren't I.
I'd just dropped off, well that's what it felt like, when I was woken up by a bright light shining in my eyes. I sat up blinking and suddenly realised my phone was buzzing away frantically on my bedside table. For a moment I was paralysed with fear and then I grabbed it, as I did it stopped buzzing and the light went off.
By now I was frantic, thinking I'd just missed the most important call in my life, but at the same time comforted by the thought that either my mobile or my home phone would start ringing again in seconds. I punch the button to look at the phone's screen and was puzzled to find it demanding my password. Now it only asks for my password if I've turned it off or the battery had gone and it's switched itself off, neither of which had happened. I tapped in my password and the phone started up. While waiting, for what seemed like hours, as it went though its start up procedure and reconnected with the network two things struck me.
My phone doesn't buzz. It has a very loud, and very distinctive ringtone that I chose specifically so I'd be able to hear it through sleep, over the car radio or if I'd left the phone in a different part of the house. The only time it is silent is in work when the flash and vibrate options are activated but even then it doesn't 'buzz'. And secondly why wasn't it in it's cover? I always put a cover over it at night so that any incoming texts or emails, where the notification tone is very quiet, doesn't wake us up by lighting up the screen.
By the time the phone had settled down I was breathing a bit easier, my home phone had stayed silent as had Peter's mobile and Andrew's mobile so it couldn't have been Papworth. I felt a strange mixture of disappointment and relief, as I always do when each day passes without a call. It is really weird to so desperately want something and yet so desperately fear it at the same time. Emotions I'm sure only those on the transplant list will ever feel or understand.
So now, right royally annoyed at having my sleep disturbed for no reason, a different type of fear hit me. What if something had happened to Laurence or Mum? I quickly paged through to my missed calls list and there was one, from Andrew. I was confused. He hadn't gone out that evening so why was he calling me at three o'clock in the morning? A quick tip toe down the corridor confirmed that he was fast asleep in his bed. I look at the list again and opened up the call. The date received was as expected Sept 13 however the date sent was August 6th. What on earth was going on? I checked my texts, emails and voicemail but nothing had been delivered in the early hours except that one call. How very, very strange.
Lying awake afterwards, mind racing, there were two things that I thought logically could have happened. Smirnoff could have sat on the phone and turned it off somehow. He often sits on my bedside table and watches me read, though how he could have turned the phone off when it has a side button is beyond me. Or the simplest and most likely explanation is the phone crashed for some reason. Again I have no idea why it would do that but these things do happen. Whichever it was it throughly unsettled me and I only dozed off again as dawn began to break.
So I finally awoke bleary eyed and with a bit of a headache at around eight. This I knew right from the start, was not going to be a good day.
I showered and had a milky coffee for breakfast. Yes I know I'm supposed to be eating and, yes, I know I shouldn't have coffee but it was only thing I could face. I didn't even feel like tea. After a shower I did a self check and was pleased to find I was no longer shivery. In fact my temperature has remained normal for over twenty four hours so I'm cutting back on the paracetamol today. My chest is still clear so the antibiotics stay in their bag and my cold symptoms have really 'come out'. I'm sneezing, feel very bunged up and my ears are crackling. However I consider this to be a good sign as things can only improve from here.
Peter has decided, now I no longer have a temperature, that I need to follow the other part of my GP's advice and get some fresh air. In fairness, whenever I have a 'thick' head I always do feel much better for going out. So he's going to drive me to Tesco's to stock up on some more fruit. I'm not sure being driven in a car or being wheeled around the fruit and veg section actually constitutes fresh air but it'll be a darn sight more interesting than sitting on the settee all day, something I've done for the last seven days. No doubt if I'm spotted someone will complain but I'm following doctor's orders and I have to eat.
I got cheered up by the arrival of the first of my orders from the Interweb. I know I'm bored when I start hitting the credit card. It was only a few pairs of slipper socks but I got quite excited. Yes, I am that bored! I prefer to walk barefoot around the house and garden as much as I can but in winter this is obviously impractical. So, after lots of experimentation with various types of slipper, I discovered slipper socks and am now wedded to them. I wear them so much I wear them out so a new supply has to be bought every year.
Right time for lunch and then off for my illicit raid on Tesco. Bit of a rebel aren't I.
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