Wednesday, 3 October 2012

April Showers

Stayed up late last night watching Sky news, hoping against hope that April would be found. Woke up this morning and she is still missing and as I write this I've got a window open waiting for the latest press conference, which has already been delayed once. As much as I hate to say it, it is not looking good.

It has been over twenty four hours now and two nights away from home in appalling weather. If she is outside she has very little chance, few five year olds would survive outside overnight on Welsh mountains. If she is indoors her plight may be better but the man who just might have been giving her food and drink has been in custody for over twelve hours. The fact that despite the arrest April remains missing says to me they have either got the wrong man or he is nasty enough to prolong the parents anguish but refusing to say anything. This leads to other possibilities, maybe he is covering for someone else and is delaying for evidence to be got rid of. Maybe he is in fear of someone and is selfish enough to put himself above the needs of a little girl. The fact that he is reported to know the family does not surprise me at all, it is usually someone the victim knows and trusts in kidnapping cases. It could be that he and April's family have fallen out and this is some sort of twisted revenge. Yes even in sleepy, close knit Welsh villages where 'everyone cares for everyone else' feuds do exist.

There were volunteers in the hundreds yesterday and more have turned up today but have been sent home. This can only mean that the police also fear the worst and are now looking for a body and don't want a friend or relative to find her. Maybe the bloke they arrested has said something to make them think that.

So we wait, and we hope, and continue to watch the updates on press conferences that at the moment remain upbeat but are beginning to show the strain. The policeman giving the press conference this morning looked like he hadn't slept in days, which is probably true. My thoughts are with the officers too as sooner or later one of them will find her.

My back is still in agony, if it doesn't give over by the weekend I'm going to have to see a doctor to make sure I haven't done any further damage. In the meantime I've moved from paracetamol to ibuprofen as it does take the edge off.

Yesterday we went shopping and I whizzed around on my little trike with no troubles at all. We even found room in the boot for the trike and the shopping, so much better than my old wheelchair. One thing I have discovered is that it is not that good when you have a bad back as it jars when you go over bumps and the back support isn't big enough to support all the way down. Maybe that is why the pain is worse today, who knows.

The fall out from my flu jab continues. My rash has gone but I still have a large, red, itchy, sore patch the size of a saucer at the jab site. The aches and shivers have gone though so red, sore and itchy I can live with. At least I know my body is reacting to the thing so it's likely to have taken, sometimes, when I get no reaction at all I do wonder.

I haven't heard from Andrew since his up beat text on Monday so I can only assume he is either too busy or is enjoying himself too much. One thing is for sure he can't be having anymore problems or I'd have heard about them by now. I will be ringing him on Thursday night anyway to confirm arrangements for the weekend, well there is no point in buying a cake if he is spending his birthday elsewhere, so I will find out how his week has been then.

Today I'm hoping that the weather will clear so I can have one last day with my camera before I go back to work tomorrow. At the moment it doesn't look very promising with high winds and thick, dark clouds scudding across the sky. If the rain does come I'll stay in, watch the news, look after my back and pray April will be found alive and well soon.

From tomorrow I'll be back at work which means a six o'clock start but it shouldn't be too onerous as I'm training for the new system this week. Then on Monday it's off to Papworth to see if I have a chance of getting onto the transplant list.

To be honest I haven't really thought about my appointment at all. I think it is because I've had so many other things to think about and at the beginning of September, October seemed such a long, long way off. Now in four days I'll be sitting in a hospital waiting for someone to decide whether I'm worth saving. At Harefield I was anxious, at the moment I can't be bothered about Papworth. Strange as it was so, so important a few weeks ago. Maybe once Monday comes reality will hit, I hope not as I quite like the laid back appraoch I'm taking at the moment.

Next blog Monday.