Friday, 28 February 2014

Not Feeling Quite Myself

It's been a bad week.

Not because of anything that has actually happened by more because I've been feeling a bit off. Work has been particularly difficult but whether that's because it really has or I've just felt that it has is hard to say. Several people have remarked that I don't appear to have my usual positivity going on and I know I've lost patience in situations where I normally just let thing ride. If I get a few complaints I would not be at all surprised.

In myself I've not felt poorly as such, though my cough has returned, but another course of antibiotics seems to be dealing with that. I don't know what it is but I've just felt low. So low in fact that I haven't been able to rouse myself into doing anything much. Unfortunately my mood has brought the end to my 365 challenge as I just could not be bothered. Of course I always knew that the challenge could be brought to a swift end by the call to transplant or a serious illness but I'd always hoped it would be the former not because of my mood.

The weather doesn't help. Everywhere is so dull and drab. However there seems to have been a sudden rush to blossom among some of the trees on the way to work. I've even seen some daffodils and crocuses but curiously no snowdrops. Of course the first signs of spring have cheered me up temporarily but it never lasts. Give it an hour or so and I'm back to doom and gloom.

In work there is no escaping the fact that my job probably won't exist in the next couple of years. This is not so bad. I am still a qualified teacher so I do have something to fall back on, even if it is only supply work. That of course needs my transplant to happen but I do have other skills. Peter and I had a long chat, in fact it's a chat that has been going on for over ten days now, and counting, and we have made a momentous decision. We have decide to go into business for ourselves.

In three years the mortgage will be paid off. Hopefully I'll have recovered from transplant and the kids will be settled in their own homes. There is nothing to stop us giving it a go. We only have the roughest of plans as yet but we are going to stick with the big holiday as the first priority. Then we will sell up and, not necessarily downsize, but move further north and west so we are somewhere between Wales and my boys. Of course where we move too will always be slightly restricted by the need to visit Papworth form time to time. We will then use any money left over to get started. Of course it is all pie in the sky at the moment but one thing we both want is to no longer have to be at someone else's beck and call. We've both had enough of that now and feel we deserve a little freedom. Yes it would be easier to win the lottery but as that is never going to happen and we have never been scared of hard work this is the only viable option. We will see. We might well feel differently in a year or two and just decide to sell up and travel the world.

Today I'm going to be cheered up by a visit from Laurence who is dropping in for lunch and later the arrival of Andrew who has a week off before returning to uni after his latest placement. Of course with every up there is a down and Peter and I also have dental appointments this afternoon. Lovely!

In the news the killers of Lee Rigby have got whole life and a minimum of 45 years. They have behaved appallingly throughout the trial and thoroughly deserve what they got. Their's will not be an easy ride in prison. There will be plenty waiting to give them a taste of their own medicine. Outside the court protesters gathered with mock up gallows. I can't say I'm for capital punishment but in some circumstances I think it would be best for all. It would certainly be best for the taxpayer who is going to have to fork out a fortune to keep these vile morons safe.

Right I'd better get on with it. It has promised snow this afternoon and it certainly feel colder. At the moment it is raining so I can't see it myself. More tomorrow.