Friday, 29 June 2012


Today is the 75th anniversary of the very first 999 call. In those days the Met had just sixteen telephonists or call handlers as they are now called, and fielded 285 calls per day. What made me laugh was that the radio operators of the day signaled the patrol cars by Morse code and each car had it's own Morse operator and machine in the back. The very first call was from a Mr and Mrs Beard of Hampstead. Mr Beard heard a noise outside and went to investigate only to see a man in a suit and trilby running off up the hill. He followed while his wife phoned the police. The man was caught just four minutes later on Primrose Hill. Although the service was introduce on 29th June, it was 1st July before this first call came in. Those were the days.

In other news Murray is through to the third round, two games down, five to go. The game had a sour note to it with his opponent, Karlovic, claiming the judges were biased and called foot faults that were just not happening. Bad loser or does he have a point? Even Murray refused to condemn the claim outright.

The other shock news was the extraordinary encounter between Nadal and Rosol. What a match and what a result! Nadal appeared out of sorts right from the beginning and he also complained about his opponent. In the end though he was simply out played. A bad day for Nadal fans but great news for Murray at least he won't have to face Nadal in the semi's, always assuming he gets that far. I've never been so glad of such a distraction.

So to me, how am I feeling? Yesterday was bad, I didn't eat and I slept badly. The worse bit was telling my family, hearing my mother trying not to cry was the worst. They were all more disappointed than I was. Today I am feeling more resigned than anything else. I knew that my chances were not good so although disappointed I can't say I'm surprised. The combination of my size, age, antibody count and dodgy ticker, which despite the upbeat report is in early stage failure, combined against me and the surgery would be too risky. They said they probably would have gone ahead if the heart factor hadn't come into it even though finding a donor would be tricky.

So what now? Well according to Carl there may be a glimmer of light. Harefield won't do a lung transplant because of my heart, Harefield do not do heart/lung transplants but Papworth do. So they are considering putting me forward to Papworth for a heart/lung instead. My consultants at the Brompton will look at the Harefield decision and if it is just the heart getting in the way they'll approach Papworth for a second opinion. I'm not holding my breath but as they say 'it isn't over till the fat lady sings'. So it is back to more waiting but I've had all the tests so things should be a little quicker than last time.

Andrew is off on his holiday today and he is so excited. He's like a little flea in a bottle and can't sit still. I'm less happy because it means a whole month without him. It is something I'm going to get used to though as he's off again to uni in September. I was bad enough when Laurence left but with both of them gone I've no idea what I'm going to do with myself. For the last twenty four years my thoughts have been on my children. I've done nothing without thinking about how it will effect them, now the only person I will have to consider is Peter. It is going to be very strange.

I'm supposed to be back in work tomorrow but I'm dreading it. My head really isn't in a good place at the moment, despite trying to fool myself that I can cope I keep getting tearful. My philosophy has always been 'just get on with it' and it has helped enormously up to now. My fear is for the sympathetic looks, will I be able to cope with sadness of others when I can barely cope with my own? There are two people I fear most. Both are lovely, kind, wonderful ladies but they are perpetually cheerful and I don't know if I can take being cheered up and advised to 'look on the bright side' especially when there doesn't appear to be one. Do I cope or do I pull a 'sicky' and take a few extra days to get my head around things? For someone who has never taken a sicky in her life it is a tough call and one I'll have to wait until tomorrow to answer.

The weather is crap again so I'm settling myself down on the settee this afternoon to watch Djokovic and Federer do their stuff, you never know there may be another upset.

Next blog in four days.