Tuesday, 13 March 2012

To Be Perfectly Frank

It was Warfarin clinic time today and as I turned up exactly half way through my alloted hour, this is a new system where everyone gets a set time and day to ease congestion, I was less than amused to find people queuing out in the corridor. After fighting my way through to the reception desk I was informed that there was at least an hour to wait and told to find a seat, fat chance. As luck would have it as I passed a row of seats someone had their name called and I quickly nipped into the vacated seat and looking up was delighted to find I'd landed slap bang in the middle of my old ladies. This time they had a man with them, he was rather a nice old bloke and seemed rather taken with me much to the disgust of his female companions who shot daggers at me the entire time.

Frank, as he introduced himself, must have been all of eighty and clutched a very large wooden walking stick which he banged onto the floor when he was making an important point. He had a real twinkle in his eye and a keen interest in almost every subject known to man. Between us we covered politics, the recession, Syria, Afghanistan, rugby, the second world war and hospital food during the hour it took for Frank to get his name called. I must say I've never met anyone so interesting or chatty as Frank in the five years I've been attending the clinic, usually everyone sits there trying not to make eye contact. I suspect in his younger years Frank might have been a bit of a ladies man, he certainly got my old dears all of a flutter. While Frank was having his blood taken they all pointedly stared at me as though I'd been guilty of turning up at a WI cake day with a Tesco value sponge. They were even more outraged when he came to say goodbye to me before shuffling off to the waiting area for hospital transport. I suspect Frank, if he lives at the same home as my old ladies, is waited on hand and foot and no doubts passes his days flirting outrageously with every female he comes across. I really hope I meet Frank again even if it does make me persona non gratis with the rest of the group.

Tesco's was next on the list and I think every pensioner in Dunstable was there. In fact there were so many I was beginning to suspect a coach trip. The thing about pensioners is that they see the weekly shop as a chance to gossip and they really don't care where they do it. There were pensioners blocking almost every aisle and on every corner chatting away blissfully unaware that their trolleys were parked in such away no one could get past them. It was gone twelve by the time we managed to get out and I was grumpy, hungry and tired.

When we got home we were delighted to find that the replacement part for Peter's car had turned up So after a quick lunch I collapsed on the settee and Peter went out to start putting his car back together. He didn't get very far as it started to drizzle but at least he has started and with luck the car will be back on the road by the weekend.

In the news it seems that this week the scientists have got it in for red meat stating that it can be lethal. They say that eating red meat twice a day can raise the chances of dying from cancer or heart disease by a fifth.  Now there may well be people that eat meat twice a day but I certainly don't know of any. For one thing who can afford to eat red meat twice a day? On the other hand the study showed eating nuts increases you life expectancy by 20%, unless you are allergic to nuts of course. They are recommending swapping traditional roast beef with nut roast. I've had nut roast and I'll be taking my chances with the roast beef thank you very much. I get so frustrated by such reports as you can guarantee that next week someone else will come out with research that will say we need to eat more red meat. Now I eat red meat, I also eat nuts so am I increasing or reducing my life span? I learned long ago to ignore this sort of thing. I eat what I like, when I like as often as I like and by a stroke of luck have ended up with a fairly healthy diet. I will continue to eat red meat and suggest you do too, but maybe not twice a day.