Bloody Blogger, they have had 'technical difficulties' and lost all yesterday's posts. They hope to 'restore them as soon as possible'. So if you thought you read a post called 'Cloudbusting' yesterday be reassured you were not dreaming and with a bit of luck will be able to read it again soon.
Forgive me but I am so heartily fed up with this McCann business.
Don't get me wrong I do sympathise, losing a child in any circumstances is horrible, I lost my own son at the age of three weeks twenty years ago and it still hurts like hell when his birthday comes around. What winds me up with this story is that everyone acts as though she is the only child who has ever gone missing. What about the thousands who have gone missing before and after her? Where is the publicity for them? Most I'm willing to bet we never hear of. Part of the reason must be because the hatchet faced mother and dope faced father managed to produce an exquisitely beautiful little girl. In this age driven by looks Maddie was a Godsend to all the media hungry for a human tragedy story on a slow news day. The constant reopening of the wound is obviously mostly driven by the guilt felt by the mother for leaving three kiddies under the age of four in an unlocked apartment while she enjoyed herself with friends. This unfortunately was not a one off and the children by all accounts had been left on their own most nights during the holiday. They were virtually giving their children up to any predator on a plate, it would be so easy for someone watching night after night to figure out when would be best to strike. However I do not believe that Maddie was taken from the apartment, I believe she woke up and went looking for the parents, after that there are three possibilities.
1. She was wandering the street and some opportunist did take her.
2. There was a lot of building work going on in the area at the time, in the dark she could quite possibly fallen down a shaft or hole and gone unnoticed. At the time I kept thinking why haven't they searched the sites, particularly the holes that were filled soon after she went missing?
3. She fell into some water, maybe a river, a pond or even the sea. Again it being very dark she could easily walk off a sea wall.
What I do not believe is that she is still alive. Yes I know there have been a couple of cases lately where missing children have turned up years after being abducted but with Maddie it would be very difficult to keep her a secret with all the publicity. I also do not believe the parents murdered her, though I still believe they may have given her something to keep her quiet and maybe did not give her enough. Whatever happened I doubt we will every find out as the chances of finding her now must be almost nil.
One final thought, there was a brief discussion about this on Facebook and someone posted that they would not like to leave their children with a foreigner babysitting as they would not like the children to be scared if they woke up. What would be worse? Having your children momentarily distressed by finding a kindly, well meaning stranger looking after them or waking up to find themselves alone or worst still being dragged off? You decide.
Still no rain, nothing for it the watering can just has to come out tonight (it'll probably pour down tomorrow).
Was dragged out of the house for a quick push around Tesco. I didn't really want to go and didn't really feel up to it but once again going out lifted my mood and although exhausted I did feel better by the time I came home.
Today has been a bit of a feeling sorry for myself day. It is the sort of day when I wonder what I've done to deserve this horrible condition. The answer of course is nothing. I'm told by well meaning, and the more religious, relatives that it is some sort of test. Really? For what exactly? And considering all I've been through in my life, haven't I been tested enough? People tell me how well I'm taking it and how I never let it upset me. Well they don't see me in the ladies loo or in the bath crying my eyes out then chastising myself for feeling sorry of myself. Thankfully I don't have these days very often and the mood rarely lasts the whole day, more like a couple of hours. I'm hoping they will become less after I've seen this therapist person. According to the literature she sent me she also does hypnotheraphy to relieve pain and stress related to medical conditions. I'm going to ask her to help me through having the line inserted. I figure the more relaxed I am the easier it will be. After all people have had major operations under hypnosis so inserting a line should be a doddle.
Forgive me but I am so heartily fed up with this McCann business.
Don't get me wrong I do sympathise, losing a child in any circumstances is horrible, I lost my own son at the age of three weeks twenty years ago and it still hurts like hell when his birthday comes around. What winds me up with this story is that everyone acts as though she is the only child who has ever gone missing. What about the thousands who have gone missing before and after her? Where is the publicity for them? Most I'm willing to bet we never hear of. Part of the reason must be because the hatchet faced mother and dope faced father managed to produce an exquisitely beautiful little girl. In this age driven by looks Maddie was a Godsend to all the media hungry for a human tragedy story on a slow news day. The constant reopening of the wound is obviously mostly driven by the guilt felt by the mother for leaving three kiddies under the age of four in an unlocked apartment while she enjoyed herself with friends. This unfortunately was not a one off and the children by all accounts had been left on their own most nights during the holiday. They were virtually giving their children up to any predator on a plate, it would be so easy for someone watching night after night to figure out when would be best to strike. However I do not believe that Maddie was taken from the apartment, I believe she woke up and went looking for the parents, after that there are three possibilities.
1. She was wandering the street and some opportunist did take her.
2. There was a lot of building work going on in the area at the time, in the dark she could quite possibly fallen down a shaft or hole and gone unnoticed. At the time I kept thinking why haven't they searched the sites, particularly the holes that were filled soon after she went missing?
3. She fell into some water, maybe a river, a pond or even the sea. Again it being very dark she could easily walk off a sea wall.
What I do not believe is that she is still alive. Yes I know there have been a couple of cases lately where missing children have turned up years after being abducted but with Maddie it would be very difficult to keep her a secret with all the publicity. I also do not believe the parents murdered her, though I still believe they may have given her something to keep her quiet and maybe did not give her enough. Whatever happened I doubt we will every find out as the chances of finding her now must be almost nil.
One final thought, there was a brief discussion about this on Facebook and someone posted that they would not like to leave their children with a foreigner babysitting as they would not like the children to be scared if they woke up. What would be worse? Having your children momentarily distressed by finding a kindly, well meaning stranger looking after them or waking up to find themselves alone or worst still being dragged off? You decide.
Still no rain, nothing for it the watering can just has to come out tonight (it'll probably pour down tomorrow).
Was dragged out of the house for a quick push around Tesco. I didn't really want to go and didn't really feel up to it but once again going out lifted my mood and although exhausted I did feel better by the time I came home.
Today has been a bit of a feeling sorry for myself day. It is the sort of day when I wonder what I've done to deserve this horrible condition. The answer of course is nothing. I'm told by well meaning, and the more religious, relatives that it is some sort of test. Really? For what exactly? And considering all I've been through in my life, haven't I been tested enough? People tell me how well I'm taking it and how I never let it upset me. Well they don't see me in the ladies loo or in the bath crying my eyes out then chastising myself for feeling sorry of myself. Thankfully I don't have these days very often and the mood rarely lasts the whole day, more like a couple of hours. I'm hoping they will become less after I've seen this therapist person. According to the literature she sent me she also does hypnotheraphy to relieve pain and stress related to medical conditions. I'm going to ask her to help me through having the line inserted. I figure the more relaxed I am the easier it will be. After all people have had major operations under hypnosis so inserting a line should be a doddle.
I thought that Blogger was having problems about 10 pm yesterday. I looked at your comments section only to find
ReplyDeletea large error message in place of the "Post a comment" box.
If you want rain, come to Ingleton. Every time I have attempted to go for a walk this week, and got 15 mins away from home the sunshine has given way to a tropical downpour.
I'm afraid that PH is a hard to live with at times. I've been battling with it for 10 years now. I find that anxiety is the biggest problem. I hope your therapist can help you through this difficult time.
Best wishes
John
Well I am sorry to say but i think you are wrong in saying all of this tonight. You need to think before you write any thing on this blog. Your not fit to say all this. Its wrong. I have had PH now for 32 years and I do get good and bad days but I have learnt to live with it like so many more others have too. Think of the young people.
ReplyDeletemasterdaz,
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that I'm unclear about what you are referring to in the first half of your comment which concludes with the words "Its wrong"
Are you referring to Hazel's description of her emotions regarding PH, or even my comment about PH?
masterdaz the whole point of this blog is to track my journey with PH, this includes how I'm feeling and what treatment I'm getting. There will be people out there who like you will read this blog and be offended by something, well I'm sorry for that but there is always the option not to read if you do not like what is being written. On the other hand there will be lots of people who are confused about their feelings and even afraid of them. I'm hoping that by reading this they will see they are not alone and that everyone goes through good and bad times. It may even answer questions they dare not ask. I am sorry you do not like what has been written, I try very hard not to be offensive and to be honest I do not see the problem with saying that sometimes I cry.
ReplyDelete