Thursday, 26 May 2011

Life Is A Lemon, And I Want My Money Back.

I'm really sorry but I'm going to have a moan.

Well I had some news today from the DWP about my DLA claim but not what I was expecting. The letter said  'thank you for your claim for DLA. We got it on 14/04/2011. We are looking at the information you have given us.' It then goes on about what happens if they need further information, right at the bottom it instructs me 'if anything you told us about yourself changes you must tell us straight away.' Bloody cheek! It takes them five WEEKS to acknowledge receipt of my claim but they expect me to contact them immediately if something happens that might change my claim. I couldn't believe it so gave it to Peter to read, he soon spotted that the date on the letter was 16/04/11. We checked the postmark which is dated 23/05/11 so where has this letter been? Sitting on someone's desk I suspect. Honestly if private businesses conducted things with such inefficiency they would be bankrupt within a month.

I contacted my PH center today to see if there was any news regarding my treatment, I explained to the very nice secretary that my condition was deteriorating fast and she said she would contact one of the doctors and get them to ring me back. The one thing I will say about the PH service at the Brompton, they are easy to get hold of in a crisis. I am going for my second session with the hypnotherapist tomorrow so maybe they will take a look at me then.

I'm so tired, I just want to sleep all the time. I don't have the enthusiasm or energy to do anything. Everything is too much trouble. I've lost interest in food and am living on tiny portions and cups of tea. I don't know what is happening to me and it is scary. I cry a lot which is ridiculous because it exhausts me and makes it even more difficult to breath.

For once I was left on my own in the house this afternoon. Andrew was taking one if his AS exams, Biology I think, Laurence was at the gym and Peter was out getting my car it's MOT so I grabbed the chance to give my relaxation exercise another go. The trouble is when you are feeling so bad it is really difficult to imagine yourself feeling warm and comfortable so I was on to a loser from the start. I did drop off to sleep for about an hour though so I suppose I did get some benefit out of it. The car passed with flying colours, at least that is one thing I no longer have to worry about.

One of the things I'm really having difficulty with at the moment is getting myself organised. I didn't realise how disorganised I can be until getting up and down the stairs became difficult. I'd get downstairs and discover I'd left my phone on the bed so would trog back up to get it. Then I'd discover I'd left my inhaler in the study so up I'd go again and this would go on through most of the morning, then I'd go through it all again in reverse during the evening when getting ready for bed. So far I have refused to consider a stair lift so the only way to retrieve everything I need/want is to keep asking someone else to get it. At the moment the only way I can get up the stairs is to be carried so you can imagine how frustraing this can be for everyone.

As I've already mentioned I'm off to the Brompton tomorrow for my second hypnotherapy session. I've managed to do my relaxation at least three times but none of them as well as I was taught. Hopefully it will be easier after the second session. We will see. I'm looking forward to it for two reasons it gets me out of the house and I'll be one step closer to losing my fear of needles. It has got to be worth it just for that, right?