Friday, 25 October 2013


I went to bed last night thinking I'd caught a cold and woke up this morning sure I had. Runny nose, sneezing and a slightly sore throat. Thankfully nothing on the chest yet but I have the antibiotics on standby just in case. I'm a bit annoyed as I've only just cleared one bug and now, wham! I've got another. I can't blame anyone at work though as the one person with a cold this week has studiously kept as far away from me as she could. Of course that is not guarantee of staying well as there are still the communal areas, such as the canteen, to worry about. However there is no use pondering over the cause, I've now got to put all my energy into getting rid of it before Monday.

The news on Kath is that she is home and doing well. Thank goodness. Seeing how well she looks makes me want my transplant even more. Waiting is so trying but it is all I can do.

Andrew's girlfriend Svet is with us for a few days. We picked her up from the airport yesterday morning and she has settled in nicely. Today we are taking her to Milton Keynes and subjecting her to Pizza Hut's lunch time buffet as I don't feel up to cooking.

The week has been a hard one, one way or another, with a very unsettled atmosphere due to all the uncertainty about shifts and collaboration. There are some very unhappy people around and the once lovely fun working environment has degraded to an atmosphere of resentment and anger. It's so sad.

Other than that it's been the usual slog of going to work, getting back from work and spending the evening sleeping in front of the TV. Gosh, I lead such an exciting life!

Tuesday night was a bit different though. I'd gone to bed early, around ten past nine, and was sitting up in bed reading. Peter was out and not expected back until after ten. I suddenly heard a loud bang coming from the back of the house. Several other bangs followed in quick succession and I really thought someone was trying to get in through the back doors. It they were then they were definitely up to no good as you cannot get into our garden unless you climb over the fence, it has no opening to to road.

I suddenly realised how vulnerable I was. A disabled woman alone, there was no way I was going to be able to fight anyone breaking in and for the first time in my life I was frightened in my own home. So what to do? I didn't want to call the police. I live in a remote village and it would take them ages to get here, besides until I knew for sure something was up I wasn't going to waste their time. I thought about calling Peter and was on the point of doing so when I heard a howling sound, then the lights started to go up and down and there was thunder and lightening. I breathed a sigh of relief, the noise must be next doors bins banging against the fence. It has happened before in windy weather but not to such an extent.

The storm vanished as quickly as it had arrived and left behind torrential rain, a sound I love. So I settled down turned off the light and drifted off to sleep.

This was a wake up call as when fit I'd have tackled anyone trying to get in, I did once, and I'd win. My weakness is a source of great anxiety and frustration as I know I'm in no position now to defend myself.

Bloody PH! It takes away you quality of life, you ability to travel, walk, or climb stairs. And now I can't even protect myself. Roll on transplant, I want my life back. I want to be me again! And I want it now!