Monday, 19 August 2013

Sleep Deprived and Grumpy

I'm going to have a small moan, please stick with me it will be over soon.

I left the decision about going back to work until this morning as I thought I'd have a better chance of knowing how I felt when I got up. In the end fate took the decision out of my hands by giving me the worst night's sleep I've had in a very long time. I was hot, I was cold, I was uncomfortable, I didn't feel sleepy, arrggghh! It just went on and on. The last time I looked at the clock it was four, the next time it was ten to seven. I got up and rang work and, for some reason I couldn't fathom, was put through to my main boss. I explained the situation and he was nothing but sympathetic, he told me to take care of myself and to only come back when I was better. I went back to bed and dozed fitfully until eight when I gave up and got up to make a cup of tea.

Enjoying a cuddle on Mum's lap

My problem is with someone I know, who has so little going on in their life, they've decided to monitor mine. This person regularly complains very loudly about those they work with who are off sick. In my case they have made it very plain that they don't think I'm 'that ill' as if I were really 'that ill' I wouldn't be working. This attitude to disability seems to have come from the dark ages and cannot understand why this person has suddenly become like this. We used to be friends but now it is as though I'm their worst enemy, but I digress. I have to say my bosses and supervisors have been nothing but brilliant, but of course they have been told a lot more about my situation than some others as I keep my problems for those that need to know. However when I go off sick I'm labeled as 'pulling a fast one' etc, etc by this someone. Now thankfully most people know that I do not take sick days for no reason. I've been in work when I can barely walk so when I say I'm too sick to go in, I'm too sick to go in and that isn't questioned by anyone except this someone. I know I shouldn't let this someone get to me. The problem is theirs, not mine but it is so bloody frustrating to know that there is someone out there who just doesn't believe you're ill, even when you are on the transplant list. Mind you they probably don't believe that either.

There are a few possibilities that have gone through my mind as to why this person has broken off our friendship. Maybe this person is so distraught about my situation they would rather distance themselves from me than risk loosing me. Maybe this person is frightened of the way I'm dealing with my situation knowing that if it were them, they wouldn't cope half as well. Maybe they disapprove of transplants, the problems started when I was going through the assessment process so this is a real possibility. Or maybe they are just pig ignorant with a nasty streak a mile wide that I failed to notice. I doubt I'll ever work it out.

Bloody kids!

So back to pleasanter things. The stew was delicious and, as everything was soft, I was able to eat a fair portion. That made me sleepy so I dozed in front of the TV for an hour, completely missing the programme I intended to watch, before spending the rest of the afternoon reading. It was a quiet day with both boys away from home and such a contrasts to the boisterous Saturday. Poor Tarmac was made the butt of a joke when Andrew put a tin foil hat on him. I don't quite know why but I took a photo. He was much more relaxed yesterday in the peace and quiet and dozed on my lap for most of the afternoon.

Andrew arrive home from his two night shifts at around eight this morning. He told me to wake him at twelve and then promptly went to bed. I am anticipating as much success in getting him up at twelve today as I had getting him up at six on Saturday. Sigh!

Well my eyes are trying to close so I'm going back to bed to see if I can get an hour or so. Knowing my luck I'll wake up at five and won't be able to sleep tonight either.