Normal Service Is Resumed.

As if this weekend wasn't bad enough with fainting at work and reaching my 14 month marker it now looks suspiciously like I am developing another chest infection. I would love to know who I upset in a past life because they just cannot stop heaping the misery on me. Thankfully I have my emergency supply of antibiotics to back me up and I'll start those today and arrange an appointment with the GP tomorrow. So fed up right now I feel like getting under the duvet and staying there. Forever.

I have a new nemesis to contend with too, in the form of our local, 'friendly' postmistress.

As regular readers will know we are in the middle of a clearout/downsize and have put a number of items on Ebay in order to raise funds for a massive holiday if I get my transplant. This means a regular, almost daily, trek to the post office to send a variety of oddly shape parcels.

Last week we arrived on a Monday morning to be told not to come in with parcels on a Monday morning as she was very busy. A few days ago Peter went in with a parcel that was 'too small because the stamps wouldn't fit' and he was told he 'should have put it in a bigger box.' Putting it in a bigger box would have increased the postage. Yesterday we arrived with seven parcels and were greeted with a heavy sigh from the post mistress and a 'goodbye' from one of the parrots. There was a bit of a queue so Peter and I waited patiently with our parcels while we were entertained by the parrots. At one stage one of them toppled from it's perch and a loud 'bugger' was issued as it climbed back up. Everyone in the shop ignored it except for us who were reduced to tears. I was laughing so much I had to hold on to Peter, which wasn't appreciated as he was carrying all the parcels.

When we got to the front of the queue she stomped around weighing things and practically threw the stamps at us. As we were leaving Peter cheerfully told her that he would be back on Monday with another lot. This was greeted with a grunt and a glare. Thankfully I will be in work so Peter will have to endure on his own.

I have a feeling the post mistress will become a regular feature of this blog, well at least until we've given her a nervous breakdown or finished our clear out.

The weekend has been a mixed bag. We tried to make the most of the good weather on Friday and Saturday by going out for a mooch around the shops. We didn't buy anything, we rarely do, and as Peter said, it would be crazy to start filling the house again just as we are starting to clear all the clutter.

Yesterday I received a lovely email from a lady who's husband is currently waiting for a heart transplant. She wished me well and said that she had started reading my blog because of her situation. I am so touched and honoured that my ramblings are helping someone else. People always think they are alone when going through something like this. It warms my heart to think my little blog has helped someone realise they are not. This lady and her husband will be in my thoughts and prayers that their call comes quickly.

This afternoon is going to be feet up on the settee watching a film.

I was delighted with Wales' performance in the Six Nations on Friday night. After this weekend no one is going to win the Grand Slam but the championship is wide open. The big one, and probably the toughest, is still to come and that's the Wales versus England match. I just can't wait. I alway love the England/Wales match regardless of the score.

In the news I've been alarmed by the reports coming out of the Ukraine. I have a friend from the Ukraine. She lives in England now with her husband but she still has relatives and friends out there. She must be very worried and I hope her family are OK and haven't been caught up in any of the violence.

Right time to think of lunch and then a long week stretches before me, undoubtedly without any chance of a call from Papworth.

“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king"

Today it is fourteen months since I was put on the transplant list. To be honest I really thought that by now I'd have had the op, be back in work and getting on with my new life. Instead all I can see before me are long days of pain, breathlessness and restriction and equally long sleep deprived nights. Sometime, no matter how positive you are, it does get you down.

I was talking to one of my supervisors this week and she was asking me how I was coping and I admitted that I was starting to say 'if' instead of 'when' I have the transplant. She was lovely and said I was a very strong person and would get there. 'After all look what you've been through so far.' It's a very nice thing to say but more often than not I feel as though I am the weakest person I know. After all my body lets me down at least once every day.

Of course weakness of body and weakness of mind are two entirely different things. I know I have a weak body at the moment but I know I have a strong mind but that can be more of a curse than a blessing. The trouble with having a strong mind and a positive outlook is sometimes people forget that inside you are just a frightened little girl in a lot of pain. I am constantly being told how much I'm admired for how I 'just get on with it' when really all I need is a hug and someone to tell me everything is going to be OK.

Today's blog title is a quote from Elizabeth the first because she was also frustrated by the limitations of her body. Even though those limitations were merely perceived simply because she was a woman.

Right enough of feeling sorry for myself.

The big Roberts clear out is progressing at pace and I have found a whole stack of vinyl albums in the back of a cupboard that I'd forgotten I had. And when I say stack I'm talking about 120 albums. No wonder I have no room for my clothing.

Among them I found my much treasured 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' in yellow vinyl. I remember I specifically wanted the yellow pressing as I was into vivid colours at the time. Sadly, unless I invest in a new turntable, unlikely, I'll never hear the actual records again but I do have it all on CD. I also found some Jefferson Starship, early Genesis and lots of ELO and David Bowie. I haven't gone through them all yet but I expect there will be some surprises. My taste in music when I was younger was a little bit all over the place.

Tonight I will be sitting on the settee, crisps in one hand, a cheeky little glass of cider in the other to cheer Wales on in their latest Six Nations match. I'm not expecting great things if I'm honest but you never know. Last time out might have just been the wake up call they needed. As with everything else in life one can but hope.

Another Week, Another Face Plant.

And it was all going so well
.

Having recovered from my last chest infection and the low blood pressure I was confident that there would be no more fainting. I had, however, reckoned without the vagaries of the air conditioning at work, which decide to stop working. Walking in this morning it was as though I'd walked into a furnace. I ripped my jumper off as quickly as I could but my knees buckled and all I could hear was a lot of shouting while the only thought going through my head was 'well this is embarrassing'. I was soon surrounded by fans and concerned colleagues and being plied with cold water. I began to feel better but was sent home as a precaution. Once in the car I whacked the air con up to full freeze mode and sat for a few minutes before setting off home.

Of course by the time I got home I was feeling fine and a bit of a fraud. I changed and washed in cool water and then checked my blood pressure. It was a bit on the low side but not low enough to be a problem, though as Peter pointed out it had probably started to recover on the way home.

I know some people will think it is silly to faint because it is a bit warmer than usual but PH patients do have problems with heat due to the medication.

PH is essentially very high blood pressure in the lungs. The drugs we are given relax the blood vessels, which in turn lower the blood pressure. When the body gets hot it naturally widens the blood vessels so the body get as much blood to the cooler surface of the skin in order to cool down. When a PH patient overheats its a bit of a double whammy and over you go. Hopefully things will be fixed by Monday, when I'm next due in.

The rest of the week has passed without incident and it has been lovely going to and from work in daylight at last. Monday morning was particularly beautiful thanks to it's glorious sunrise. I'm hoping for more of them in the weeks to come.

In the news I've grown irritated by those supposedly in with the fashionable set, or jealous, aging harpies as I like to call them, whining on about the Duchess of Cambridge's hair. It's too long/curly/straight/unruly apparently. For goodness sake! She's a pretty young woman. So what if she has long hair. What is the problem? Just leave her alone.

The winter Olympics are still failing miserably to capture my attention. I have no idea what half the sports are or who's competing. Though from what I've heard maybe that's for the best.

The pictures are some of this weeks efforts for the 365 challenge.

Back To The Rat Race

I cannot believe that I'm back in work tomorrow. That ten days went so quickly I barely had time to catch my breath. However I've had a really good time getting out and about instead of being stuck indoor watching TV. In fact I've been out and about so much I've barely had time to watch any day time TV at all. Today is going to be different though. I'm having an enforced rest day to ensure I'm at full charge before tomorrow's onslaught.

There is no rugby this weekend, which has left me distraught. I've become used to getting all excited on a Saturday. Now I'm going to have to wait until Friday before I can stress out watching Wales play, hopefully better than they did last time. So, if there are no old films on, I'm going to pay homage to Roger Lloyd Pack aka Trigger and watch some of my Only Fools and Horses collection. There are probably better ways to spend a Sunday but most of them are off limits to me so I'll just have to make the best of it.

One thing this week off has left me is massively frustrated. I was fine until Wednesday until I visited Norwich Castle and realised just how limited I'd become. It wasn't just the fact that I was banned from certain areas, and it is always the bits I'd find most interesting, but just the day to day getting around.

Take the cafe where we had lunch for instance. The tables were set so close together that you had no chance of getting my trike or even a wheelchair between them. Having to leave my trike outside left me feeling nervous as I was worried it would be moved by an officious security guard or stolen.

Then on the days we went shopping we found some shops I couldn't even get into as they had a step at the entrance. Those I could get into had rails, shelves or displays so closely packed I was in danger of knocking things over with the slightest movement. My absolute favourite was a charity shop which had helpfully installed a ramp for disabled access. Right at the top of the ramp they'd installed a stand displaying crockery. It was impossible to get around on my little trike so goodness know how the traditional scooters would fair.

Despite having a lot of fun I still long for the days when I could get around on my own two feet. A lovely sunny crisp day such as today would have me and Peter heading for the hills and a long walk before returning home rosy cheeked for hot chocolate and buttered toast. On wetter days we'd head for the local pool and spend a couple of hours ploughing up and down in warm water. We certainly would not be sitting watching old movies every Sunday as we are now. Of course in the summer we do go out and visit places and attend the occasional car boot sale or Antiques fair but only if it on flat solid ground. My trike does not do wet grass or mud.

Day to day I'm limited too. I can't vacuum anymore and that drives me mad as it used to be done every other day. Now it's once a week at most. I can't dust as it makes me wheeze so that has to wait until I'm out of the house and Peter is at home. I can still iron, I do it sitting down, but carrying laundry baskets and hanging out the washing is beyond me. Another source of contention as none of my boys can peg out properly. A lot of people say to me how lucky I am not to have to do all the mundane stuff anymore but they don't realise that 'mundane' is normal. One of the first things I'm going to do once I'm fit again is clean the house top to bottom.

And so after a lovely week, which I have throughly enjoyed, I'm left feeling that I could have enjoyed everything so much more if only I were fit. By next Friday I'll have been waiting for my new life for fourteen months. I'm trying to remain positive but it is become harder, especially when you feel you've missed out.

So today I'm making that good old comfort food Toad in the Hole. Andrew is due home any minute after a really tough week on placement so I though a bit of old fashioned cooking would just hit the spot.

Having said that I'd better get on and start preparing. I'm fancying apple and blackberry crumble for afters. Sounds good to you? Yep me too. Next blog Friday.

Valentine Day Blues

I am writing this under great duress.

After almost a year of looking, thinking, rejecting and discussion we have finally found our ideal bathroom cabinet and Peter is in the process of putting the thing up. This involves a lot of drilling and banging about, naturally, and as the bathroom is next to the study it's a wee bit noisy in here. We still haven't come to any agreement over the flooring and at the rate we are going the bathroom will need doing again before we get anywhere. We really need to stop dilly dallying and get on with it. If only we could agree.

Yesterday we took advantage of the weather and took a trip to....wait for it...Watford.

Peter had some electronics to pick up so as it was dry, sunny and relatively warm we decided to do a quick sprint around the charity shops. I came back with armfuls of books, even though I promised I wouldn't, and Peter came home empty handed. Still it was fun and I enjoyed getting out and about in the fresh air.

Today we are back to normal which is to say dull, wet and windy. The forecasters are predicting up to a months worth of rain in some areas over the next day or so and our area is expecting very high winds over night. I am worried as to how much more punishment the silver birch can take.

I have to say that with all this dashing about I'm sleeping like a baby. However my cough has started to come back. I feel fine and there are no other symptoms but it is a bit worrying as it has gone on so long. If it continues through next week I'll have to go back to the doctor's but for now I'll rest up and hope it is just a blip.

In the news over the last week we have seen both William Roach and Dave Lee Travis cleared in their respective trials.

I am really, really not surprised. There has to be an element of doubt as after all this time it basically boils down to their word against their accusers. Certainly in the William Roache trial the 'victims' were not exactly reliable. Changing their stories and generally messing things up big time. William Roach admits to having slept with a lot of women but then so, no doubt, has Tom Jones, Axel Rose and Barry White, to name but a few. The famous, especially the male famous, have women throwing themselves at them and sometimes they give in to temptation without asking the age of their teenage temptresses. However those women shouldn't turn around several decades later and decide that they had made a big mistake.

The doubt must be why on earth, if the things they say are true, didn't they report the crimes at the time. OK, the attitude to celebrity was very much different then and women claiming sexual assault or rape were treated appallingly by the police and society alike. However they could have told somebody, a friend, a relative, even written it in a diary. Then at least they would have some evidence to back up their claims. The fact they waited so long and only came forward after the Savile affair broke adds a definite doubt as to their motivation if nothing else.

As Dave Lee Travis said after his trial there are no winners here. The men and their families have gone through a horrendous ordeal. In some cases their careers will never be the same again because there will always be that shadow of doubt. The accusers have come away without the huge payout or the tabloid spreads they were hoping for. And the CPS and police have come away looking rather silly and vindictive.

However the biggest losers are the women past, present and future who are real victims. Anyone being sexually assaulted by anyone famous, or not for that matter, is going to have a harder time of it now. Unless they report the event within hours of it happening the police are going to be very wary. Once bitten, twice shy, or so you'd think.

However like a dog with a bone the police are still relentlessly pursuing anyone who was famous in the seventies and eighties and has had a finger pointed at them. No matter how tenuous the chance of gaining a prosecution. It's almost as though their dogged pursuit is in some way a compensation for the one that got away. Jimmy Savile did do all those terrible things, there is proof, but he is dead and cannot be touched and no matter how many more famous names they drag through the mud they can never compensate for that..

Right time for a cuppa and feet up to watch some Olympics. Still trying to get into them, still failing.

The Great Roman Coke Disaster

Yesterday was our my awaited trip to Norwich Castle to see the Roman exhibition I'd heard so much about on the news and radio. I was so excited I couldn't sleep the night before (I don't got out much) and was up dressed and ready to go by nine. Despite the dire warning of bad weather it was actually dry and calm outside if overcast and a little dull.

The trip was going well until Peter hit a bump on a corner.

On Monday we had been out shopping and had lunch out. I'd got a coke in one of those cup things with the lid and straw but couldn't finish it. So I'd put the cup in the cup holder in the passenger door and promptly forgotten about it. I was about to be reminded in the worst way possible.

As though in slow motion I saw the cup rise out of the holder as Peter hit the bump. Then I heard a 'pop' has the lid came off before the cup neatly upended itself into my open handbag. There was then a mad scramble, hampered by the cornering, as I rescued my phone Zen music player, similar to an ipod, purse, spare contacts and anything else I could think of. Luckily I keep a few cloths in the car to wipe fogged up windows etc so I wiped everything down and then dared to look inside my bag. There was a mass of old receipts, sweets, lipsticks and general handbag gunk floating in a pool of brown liquid. My bag is leather so I had to get it out of there before is began to sink in. I stuffed the cloths and a fabric carrier bag into the handbag to soak up as much as I could, depositing the sodden cloths in a plastic carrier bag. The result was a very damp handbag and lots of loose items that couldn't be returned.

I stuffed as much as I could into the glove box and deposited the valuables in various pockets and in the spare spaces in the camera bags that we would be taking in with us. The handbag was pushed in the glove box where hot air comes down to warm your feet and soon a sickly sweet smell began to fill the car.

We arrived at the castle and was able to drive right up to the main doors to park in the disabled bays there. Just as well really as the slope into the castle is really steep. Peter put together my trike while I was busy stuffing my bits and pieces into the camera bags and then we were all set to go.

The first disappointment of the day came when I was told there was no wheelchair access to the dungeon tour in the basement. I couldn't go up to the balcony in the Keep due to building works and there was no wheelchair access to the battlements. However the battlements were not open anyway due to the high winds.

First stop was the loo, all that coke sloshing about had had an effect. Then we stopped off at the cafe for a bite to eat. Very, very expensive. If you are thinking of visiting take your own sandwiches. Then off we went. We made a beeline for the Roman exhibit, after all that is why we went, and met with the second disappointment of the day. No photography allowed. Damn it! Still not really a problem if I really wanted some pictures I'd buy the special guide on the way out.

The exhibit was the biggest disappointment. Filling only three rooms there was very little there and almost none of it was from Britain, let alone Norfolk. It was supposed to be an exhibition of Roman artifacts found in and around Norfolk. What was local could have fitted in half a room. Most of the stuff I'd seen before in the British Museum and, although I didn't mind seeing them again, I was hoping for something new.

We moved on the to the other exhibits and found ourselves competing with several school trips as kids raced in and out of the rooms all shouting at the tops of their voices. I was annoyed that none of the teachers even bothered to try and quieten them down.

The other exhibits were much better than the one we'd come to see and I was delighted when moving around to see a few paintings I recognised from two of my favourite artists. I found two Gainsboroughs and two Lowrys and they made my day. Unlike some galleries where you have to stand behind barriers we could get up close and personal and really take a good close look. The kids didn't like the art galleries so we mooched around in them for most of the time until they began to leave.

We then headed for the Keep and this was breathtakingly beautiful if not a little drafty. Actually by now the wind was howling outside and the roof creaked alarmingly with every gust. The windows had been glassed over but it was easy to understand how cold it must have been in the days of no windows at all. We looked around and then Peter went into the basement for a quick look so I found a radiator, parked up and waited while firing off a few photos. We were allowed camera's here but no flash photography so it took a great deal of control not to shake. I think I did quite well as I'm naturally shaky anyway.

A quick coffee and we headed home. We had agreed before setting off the leave early enough to allow us to do the journey in daylight. The weather had taken a definite turn for the worst and the journey home was slow, tedious and, when the wind tried to blow us off the road , sometimes scary.

We made it home just after five and spent the evening watching the news reports about the atrocious weather. Despite our difficult journey we had escaped very lightly.

Today is going to be quiet, though we do have to run some errands this afternoon. Hopefully the weather will stay away until we finished.

The Parrot Sketch Revisited.

Gosh it has been a really busy day.

For once we had a dry and sunny day so we took advantage and set off early to get the mundane tasks out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of our week.

First up was a trip to the post office. I had one medium parcel and four jiffy bags to send so we pulled up outside our village post office and I nipped inside. Now in my naivety I thought a bit of extra business would be welcome as this post office has been threatened with closure more than once in the last few years. It is run by a rather eccentric lady who has a thing about parrots. She keeps at least three in the shop and while I'm queuing I get wolf whistled, asked how I'm feeling, offered a cup of tea, told 'good afternoon' and got given the price of a first class stamp in between a cacophony of squawks and whistles. By the time I reached the counter my head was ringing and I could barely hear the post mistress over the noise.

I plonked my parcels down on the counter and she glared at me over her glasses. 'You shouldn't be bringing in so many parcels on a Monday morning, I'm very busy.' I couldn't believe it. I was being told off for giving her my custom. I thought she was going to refuse to serve me but she barked instructions about putting things on scales and then started pushing stamps at me from under the glass window. Once everything was covered in bits of sticky paper I was told to 'shove them in that sack there',  which I did, paid and left to a parting shot of 'Good Morning' from one of the parrots followed by a hearty cackle.

It was then on to Milton Keynes where we visited Tesco first, stopped for lunch and then went on to Costco. The shops were so quiet we were done and dusted and on our way home by two.

We'd only been home a matter of minutes when Andrew arrived. He had a day off before his next shift so had come home to collect his post and take back as much food as he could squeeze into his top box and panniers. After all why go shopping yourself when your mum will do it, and pay for it, for you. Kids! He did have some good news though. He has passed another two exams and only has one more essay outstanding. All very good news this close to his finals.

I spent some of yesterday having a bit of a de-clutter and decided to finally move some of my vinyl albums up into the loft. We haven't had a turntable for a number of years now so I've gradually been replacing them with CD's and now have almost the complete set. I took a picture as I memento. One day, when I have the room and the money I might invest in a turntable again and play them. After all to us oldies music is nothing without the odd crackle and hiss here and there.

I have included my latest efforts for the 365 challenge. Hope you like them.