Frustrated!

Woke up to a white world this morning and a distinct sinking feeling that my first journey to work in a new car is going to be in snow and ice. However I'm not in until Monday so hopefully it will have sorted itself out by then and it will be raining again. I've given up hoping for warm sunny days and now just hope it is raining as at least rain isn't snow.

I had a really bad night's sleep and am feeling distinctly under the weather. My chest is tight and I'm finding any exertion makes me puff like a train. Add to that the runny, blocked nose and sore throat and you get the picture. So, instead of rushing out to play with my new toy, I'm confined to the settee again while I guiltily watch Peter doing all the housework. However long experience tells me that this is the best, indeed the only, way to tackle any cold/chest infection and the sooner I give in and rest, the sooner it goes, so I have no choice. If I'm good today, I might well feel much better tomorrow.

Of course the snow doesn't help, every time the temperature drops my breathing worsens, even when I'm well, so you can imagine what the addition of a cold does. It's fair to say that today I'm feeling pretty miserable.

Another person who is not enjoying the weather is Andrew. He was unable to get into London on his bike today so has had to miss a day of placement. To be fair he wasn't actually supposed to be working as his trainer had the day off but someone said they would step in. I have to say Andrew has had an appalling run of luck with his placements, it has snowed on every single one so far. The weather can't be helped though, and I'm pretty sure they would rather he stay at home than become one of their clients. Also it is the first day he's actually missed so he's done pretty well up to now.

Rather than sit on the settee all day I'm going to spend some time transferring  music onto a usb stick so I can plug it into the car and listen to my favourite tunes without having to fiddle around with CD's or ipods. I must admit I love making up play lists and so far I've manage to get the whole of my Beatles collection downloaded along with Aerosmith, Queen and the Rolling Stones. Next up Ozzy and Meatloaf.

At least I have something to look forward too tomorrow, when my best friend is paying a visit, weather allowing. I'm hoping to be well enough to bake a cake but we will see.

In the news the new Archbishop of Canterbury was installed in, what can only be described as, an unusual and colourful way. To be fair he had to do something to stand out from the election of the new Pope but I though it was going just a little far. Still he's in and the religious world can settle down and fade into the background again, until the next crisis that is.

Also in the news the story that gripped my attention this week was  that of the Cypriot government intending to take 10% out of every bank account it could find. Can you imagine that happening here? There would be carnage. The Cypriots are not best pleased either and are protesting left, right and center and who can blame them. Absolutely shocking.

Well it is that time of day again. A cup of tea, a bit more downloading and then lunch. A quick pasta is all I'm going to manage but I'm adding a little chilli, just to warm things up because it looks like we need it.

Introducing My Lovely Little Italian.

Well here it is in all it's glory, my new little red Mito.

I have to say it is lovely to drive and when you pop it into sports mode it goes like stink, even though it is a 1.4 engine. There are a couple of niggles, I have yet to work out how to use the cruise control and I panicked when the engine shut itself off at some traffic lights. However this is a fuel saving device and the engine restarts when you press the throttle, a bit weird but I'm sure I will get used to it in time. The feature I love the most is being able to connect your phone to your radio and so take calls without having to stop somewhere to do so. I haven't worked out how to make calls yet but again that will come. At least my reading material is sorted for the weekend, I've got loads of paperwork and a manual to get through.

So now we have three Alfa Romeo's sitting outside our house and it is a bit cramped, however next week Peter is making a start on doing up the 156 and hopefully it will be up for sale by the end of April, so if anyone knows someone who would like an Alfa Romeo, 156 2L twin spark in silver 05 reg, one careful lady owner, please drop me a line.

I was so excited that for once I let Peter put me in front of the camera and take a picture of me with my new toy. Unfortunately it was so cold and I was shivering so much I look like I desperately need to wee so we are going to try again over the weekend and this time I'm going to be wearing my thermals.

My cold is definitely getting worse and I've started to cough up gunk so I'm starting on the antibiotics this afternoon in the hope that come Monday they will have kicked in and I won't have to take any time off. Apart from one day in February I haven't had any sick leave since before Christmas and I would rather not have to take any now. Usually if I can hit any infection with antibiotics the minute it shows I can get away with feeling a little under the weather for a couple of days, I'm hoping this will be the case this time around.

I could not believe I was waking up to snow again this morning, it is nearly April for heavens sake.  This time last year we were having our summer and I was sitting in the garden in a tee shirt complaining I was too hot. I haven't even seen any cherry blossom yet and my forsythia remains stubbornly brown. It has plenty of buds but they are just refusing to open. Even the daffs haven't flowered yet. Because it is so much like winter the fact that Easter is next week had completely passed me by, until yesterday. Talk about going into panic mode. To be honest since the kids have grown up we don't tend to make too big a deal about it but I still like to do a special lunch on Sunday if I can. I don't even know if both of the kids can make it this year. I'm pretty sure Andrew will be free but I have a nasty feeling Laurence might be working. If so I will put if off a week and at least then I'll have more planning time.

Well it has been a really busy day so I'm off for a sit down with a Cadbury's Creme Egg.

A Storm In A Tea Cup

The new system is in at work and after a very stressful couple of days I think I'm beginning to get the hang of it. It still throws me the occasional curved ball and at least once I didn't know whether to laugh or cry I was that close to hysteria. However something very strange happened this afternoon. As I was sitting at my desk the noise around me faded and I became warm and drowsy and then this little voice came out of nowhere saying 'why on earth are you stressing about this?' 'Why does it matter?' Remember nothing matters now except you and staying as well as you can.'

Now I may have dropped off for a moment, that is quite possible as I'm totally exhausted and ended up going to bed at half past eight last night, but, whatever the cause, my attitude change immediately and I became much more relaxed about everything. So what if I make mistakes, I've only been doing it for two days and I will keep making mistakes as I continue to learn. At the end of the day it's just work and it seems I'm finally accepting the change in my life priorities.

Another reason for  being a little excitable this week is that I'm picking up my new car on Friday.

I felt a little sad driving home today as I know tomorrow will be the last time I take my current car on that journey. From next week my new car will take over while Peter works on my current one to get it ready for sale. I know it has to go, it is too big, too expensive to run and now the kids are grown and left home we just don't need a 'family' car anymore but it is going to be a wrench, especially while I'm getting used to the Mito.

My cold is still hanging around and some days are better than others. Although I don't feel that bad there have been times when I've looked quite 'blue'. I'm sure my cold is also responsible for the exhaustion I'm feeling, it can't all be down to work, so I'm keeping a close eye on myself. In a normal week I might have taken a couple of days off but I just couldn't this week and I actually feel quite proud of myself that I've made it in each morning. Next week if I'm still feeling 'off' I'll be kinder to myself and take some time out.

It is a sobering thought that I've been on the list for three whole months tomorrow.

It is easier than I thought it would be. I no longer expect an early call and am beginning to settle in for a longer haul. I'm also sleeping better as I no longer have one ear out for the phone at night. Recent rogue calls have assured me that the ring tone is loud enough to get me out of the deepest of slumbers. And I no longer jump quite so much when we do get unexpected calls at unusual times. I'm sure I'll eventually become completely relaxed to the point of forgetting about it most of the time. The trouble is I don't want to get to that stage, sometimes I feel like throwing a toddler tantrum and stamping my feet while shouting 'I want it now!' However I know that wouldn't get me anywhere so what would be the point. At the end of the day it will happen when it is good and ready and I bet you any money when it does I'll stamp my feet and say I don't want it. After the op is what I'm looking forward too, not the op itself so I'm expecting second thoughts right up until the put me out.

Well time to collapse onto the settee and chill out for the evening. Hopefully my dreams will be full of Mito's tonight and not computer screens as they were last night. Next blog Friday. 

We Are The Champions! Again!

Oh my goodness I am so happy this morning. Wales are back to back champions in the six nations and I don't think I've stopped smiling yet.

To be honest watching these matches are so detrimental to my health but I can't help getting excited, especially when a match is as good as that. It was fast and furious and you could hear the crunch of some of the tackles. I was bouncing up and down in my seat most of the time and when first try came I jumped up waving my arms screaming so loud I frightened Smirnoff who was asleep at the other end of the settee. By the end of the match I was so washed out I felt I'd been on the pitch with the team. An hour of oxygen and an enforced rest meant I soon recovered but nothing has come close to the enjoyment I felt yesterday afternoon in a very long time so it was well worth it.

It was a very exciting day all in all as in the morning I got the call from my car dealer to say I could pick up anytime I wanted next week. I'm working Monday to Thursday with no hope of getting any time off as the new system is coming in and there is a leave embargo. So I've opted for Friday morning, I could have gone after work but I'd be tired and I want to enjoy my new toy, not rush home and park it. So now everything is done I can reveal that the car I'm actually getting is an Alfa Romeo Mito Sportiva 1.4 TB MultiAir 135 bhp in Alfa Red and it is beautiful. Pictures will be posted next weekend.

My cold seems no worse but no better so the onslaught continues as I am determined not to let it get me. I'm hoping I'm going to be lucky this time and it is just a passing visit but you just cannot tell with these things can you.

Andrew is having trouble readjusting  back from nights to days. He spent most of yesterday morning walking around in a Zombie like state before finally giving in and going to bed. It looks like he's going to have to do a bit at a time but he has until Friday to do so there is no panic.

This afternoon I'm sitting down to watch another of my sporting loves, formula one racing. I don't tend to get so worked up about these events, especially at the start of the season when it's an open field so I should be able to remain cool and collected throughout. Of course being in Australia the race has already been run so I'm frantically avoiding all news channels at the moment in an effort not to find out who won before I even get to see it.

After a couple of hours of fun I'll tackle the ironing hill and start getting ready for work tomorrow. I've made a real effort this week and bought lots of sandwich stuff and little rice/pasta pots. In order to gain weight I need to eat loads but can only eat small portions so snack through out the day. To buy all these snacks would cost me a fortune from the work canteen so I've bought them all in the supermarket. All I've got to do now is not forget to take them in. My usual trick is to have everything waiting in the fridge in a carrier bag the night before. I then move the bag to the kitchen worktop while I have breakfast where I forget about it and dash out the door leaving it there. This is going to stop and I will now dump it by the front door during breakfast, where I'll have to pick it up to open the door. Foolproof or what?

Well time to get started on lunch, I fancy a nice Balti so will spend the next hour grinding spices and marinading chicken, what an exciting life I lead.

Next blog Wednesday.

Doing Something Unfunny For Money

Well I have to say it, that was the unfunniest two hours I've ever spent watching 'comedy'.

Sadly with Comic Relief I barely raised a smile let alone laugh at anything. In fact the funniest moment for me was seeing Lenny Henry hug Ed Miliband and only then because of the expression on Lenny's face. By the time Davina arrived I had to turn off. I can't stand her at the best of times but when I'm bored to tears it's even worse. In the end they managed to raise 75 million, which is an impressive sum, so somebody must have liked it.

Andrew is home and full of stories about his four nights on the Ambulance. It seems they get more false call outs at night than they do during the day, so he spent most of the week scraping drunks off the pavement or putting old ladies back into bed. He's not impressed and is hoping for more excitement when he starts days later this week.

I've woken up today with a slight cough and a runny nose. I knew it, I just knew it! Now the race is on to stop it developing into anything more. So it's honey and lemon and lots of steaming. I figure the high temperature of the steam might just kill off the bugs before they become settled. So far I feel fine, my chest is nice and clear and there is no effect on my breathing. Let's hope it stays that way, the last thing I need this week is to be ill.

Tonight we are going to kick back and enjoy a film night. I might even treat myself to a rare glass of cider. With a bit of luck this will not render me unconscious on the settee and I will get to watch the end of the film.

However first to come is the sheer excitement of Wales versus England to decided the Six Nations Championship. As it stands Wales only needs to finish the match eight points ahead of England to take the title, not unachievable by any stretch of the imagination. I suspect it is going to be an epic match, hard fought and well played. My only hope is that both sides play fair and no one ends up in the sin bin. For this epic afternoon I have assembled crisps, cakes, hot chocolate and a variety of fresh fruit, well a girl's got to keep her strength up. I will try very hard not to get too excited but I suspect I will be on oxygen by the end of it.

Today I posed a question for my fellow PH sufferers, 'if you woke up tomorrow completely cured what would be the first thing you'd do?' Almost to a man the answer came back 'go for a walk.' I didn't know what answers I actually expected, maybe a few marathons or rowing the channels to be thrown in here and there, so for everyone to chose such a mundane,  everyday activity shows just how badly this illness takes away the simplicity of life. As one lady put it, ' I think that has been the greatest gift my illnesses have given me, knowing what is truly important and not worrying about the other stuff.' I can't add to that, that one sentence says it all.

In the news hope has been given to those waiting for liver transplants.

A new machine has been developed that keeps the liver alive outside the body by feeding it blood and oxygen. The device is portable and can keep the liver in good condition for twenty fours hours or more. So far two patients have received organs kept alive by this machine and both are doing well. In the past livers were kept on ice which could cause damage to the delicate tissue causing some operations to fail. The new machine also means that damaged livers can be repaired before transplant freeing up organs that would normally go to waste. Obviously this is good news for the 8000 Britons waiting for a new liver. It also means that we may soon see a reduction in the 100 deaths a day of people waiting for a match.

I always think that this sort of news is a bit of a two edged sword. Yes it is marvellous news that more transplants will be carried out because of this new device. However I wonder whether it will make potential donors think that the announcement means that there is no longer going to be a shortage of organs as a result. What they fail to realise is that the device cannot do it's job if there are no donated organs in the first place.

If you gave money to save a life last night then please, do something to save a life today that won't cost you anything and sign up to the donor register.

Beware The Ides Of March

I hate that Warfarin clinic with a passion beyond belief.

Not only was I kept waiting for over an hour but I had an argument with the nurse taking my blood. For all the time I've been going there I've always had the tiny brown needles because I am needle phobic and anything bigger sends me running from the cubicle. Today a nurse I have been seeing for years tried to take my blood with a much bigger green needle. I freaked! While I was freaking she tried to tell me that she'd always used the green needle on me, no she hasn't, never, no way. Then she said 'well the green needles are so much more convenient for us', maybe so but I'm the patient and I'm the one getting punctured by the thing. I had my blood taken by a brown needle and have vowed never to attend the clinic again. I will of course, when I've calmed down, but anyone trying it on with a green needle is going to get punched.

Back in the real world it was a quick trip to Tesco and then back home for lunch while I wait for a very important phone call. No not that one, well OK, that one as well but more immediately the date I can collect my new car. I got a call yesterday afternoon to say all the paperwork had gone through and that they would ring me back with a pick up date today. I wasn't that bothered when I started the process but as the time gets nearer I find myself getting more and more excited. I've never had a brand new car before, or are ever likely to have one again, so this is a big moment for me.

Along with the excitement is reassurance in the fact that everything, apart from petrol, will be taken care of for me. I never have to worry about the cost of repairs if it breaks down and I will know absolutely 100% that it will start in the middle of the night when I eventually get that call. Much as I love my current car I am aware that there are things wrong with it and it could let me down at the vital moment.

Today is Comic Relief Day and don't we know it.

I find it ironic that this year Comic Relief falls on the day that Julius Caesar met his end and for me, no matter how many people in funny costumes assail me as I try to go about my business, the fifteenth of March always seems rather gloomy. Today is no exception and, although a bit warmer, the dark clouds make everything seem depressingly dull. I will probably watch some of the programme tonight though, to be fair sometimes it can be quite good, but I will go and make tea when they start on the guilt trips. I will buy the Comic Relief Single, as I do every time one is released, and will consider that to be my contribution.

The World's Catholics have a new Pope and I was highly amused at the crowd's reaction outside the Vatican when the name was announced. The crowd had already decided it was going to be the man from Milan and were disappointed and confused when it turned out to be none of the front runners but an elderly gent from Argentina. First impression is that this pope looks like a kindly Grandfather and has a reputation for humility, however the media is already digging the dirt and the mud slinging has already begun. Such a shame.

I am expecting Andrew home later today, fresh from his four night shifts with the London Ambulance service. I haven't heard from him since the first night which means he's either been very busy, is absolutely shattered and can't be bothered to text or he hasn't remembered to charge his phone. However if I don't hear from him by tomorrow I will be hot footing it down to Hatfield to check on him.

Well in anticipation of his arrival I'm baking a walnut and banana loaf, one of his favourites. I suspect that his food consumption hasn't been what it should have been over the last few days so I'll be practically force feeding him good wholesome meals and loads of veg and fruit to make up.

Tomorrow it is that all important Wales versus England rugby match to determined the Six Nations Champions. I will, of course, be glued to the TV and may even dig out my Welsh Rugby shirt for the occasion.

This weekend is a double whammy as on Sunday it is the start of the Formula One season and the opening race in Australia. You all know who I'll be cheering but I think this year more of my hopes will lie more with Jenson rather than Lewis.

So to give myself something to do while I wait for the garage to call, I'd better get going and start mashing those banana's. After all my afternoons are booked for the next two days so it I don't do it now it just won't happen..

Puff The Magic Dragon

Well it has been a bit of an up and down three days. I have spent most of it trying to avoid different colleagues with a variety of bugs, I even cancelled my counselling session because the counsellor had a cold. Unfortunately I suspect it is all in vain as when I arrived home yesterday I found Peter with a streamer.

I've become absolutely paranoid about hygiene of late but I feel I have no choice. With all the bugs ganging up on me wherever I go at the moment I need all the alcohol gel I can get my hands on, literally. So far this paranoia seems to be paying off but I doubt it will last.

As I write this I'm watching flurries of snow fly past the window. Surely spring must be just around the corner, it can't go on like this can it? I long for some warm sunshine on my face and not having to wrap up in duvets just to leave the house.

My car purchase is going well.

My original dealer rang on Monday and cancelled my application and paid back the deposit without any argument. It appears the cars he though he could offer me didn't materialise and there was no point in trying to hold on to me. The new dealer is ringing when he says he will and is keeping me bang up to date on every development. Brilliant!

Andrew started his night placement on Monday. I got an excited text to say he was on the rapid response car so would be getting all the 'juicy' jobs but nothing since. I suspect he is probably too busy when working and too shattered when he isn't. I'll be seeing him Friday anyway and will probably get non stop chatter then.

I've lost weight, a whole three pounds. Yes I know it doesn't sound much but you've no idea the effort it took to put it on in the first place. This morning I found they were selling bacon rolls in the canteen and decided 'why not', after all I've got to put weight on, so I bought one and loved every mouthful. However about an hour later I realised I'd made a big mistake. The bacon was so salty I was dying of thirst and was soon pouring liquid into my mouth like there was no tomorrow. Much as I enjoyed it I think I might give it a miss tomorrow, or take in extra squash.

In the news the conclave has started to elect a new Pope. Everyone seems very excited about this for some reason and Sky News is practically hysterical whenever a puff of smoke emerges from the chimney. Other news stations are publishing biographies of all the cardinals, asking you to vote for the Pope you would like, as if it matter what you or they think, and generally treating it like the Oscars. What a shame such an ancient ceremony is being reduced to a popularity contest such as Big Brother or X Factor. And what annoys the most is that, whoever they do chose, we are unlikely to notice much difference.

Well time for a slump in front of the TV and a read of the paper. Next blog Friday.