Sleepy Sunday

All does not appear to be well in the Mercedes camp. After dominating the race, the Spanish Grand Prix was won by Lewis Hamilton. Unlike previous GP's instead of coming over and slapping his team mate on the back Rosberg just stalked off and the conversation in the holding area was stilted to say the very least. Hamilton, it seems, is very good at getting peoples backs up.

Why am I starting with the Grand Prix today, well it was about the only (semi) exciting thing that happened all day.

I woke up, read the papers etc, etc, etc and wondered when the weather would stop pretending to be November and act more like May. Honestly I was so cold I ended up huddled on the settee in one of Peter's enormous fleeces.

I had hoped to regale you with tales of gardening or going out to walk (scooter) around parks and alongside river banks, I had hoped to have used my camera outside at least once by now. It always happens to me. I take a week or so off and suddenly winter returns. It's all very well the weather people telling me next week is going to be better. I'm going to be back at work by then and sitting in a sweltering room trying not to faint.

Instead all I did yesterday was watch TV, drink endless cups of tea and roam the internet looking for somewhere to visit. I'm now thinking forget anywhere with nice gardens, look for something indoors with efficient heating.

However it was drug prep day and this time it went off a lot more smoothly. I'm getting used to things now and managed to knock a whole five minutes off the time this week. I do like it when a plan comes together. It still feels strange not to be sitting down and doing this every night as I used to and I can't believe I actually moaned afterwards at how long it had taken, but I did. How quickly we forget! Two weeks in and I cannot imagine ever going back to the old system but I'm already complaining about the new one. Guess I won't really be content until I've got rid of the pump for ever and there is only one way that is going to happen.

The fresh flush of renewed hope has faded as quickly as it arrived. That's the trouble with this transplant business. When you are first put on the list you are absolutely convinced you'll be all done and dusted in a couple of months, six at most. Part of this is the fault of the nursing staff who say stupid things like 'I'll make you an appointment for three months time but I fully expect to see you before then'. And in my case the hope was elevated by working alongside someone who got their transplant after being on the list for only three months. Of course they point out to you that you may be in for a very long wait and also that there is a slim chance you will never get a transplant but human nature and that wretched thing called 'hope' brushes those warnings aside. You just know it's going to happen and it's going to happen soon.

So after becoming very despondent, and knowing your condition is worsened, when the top consultant comes along and says you have now become urgent, and they are taking some of the barriers away, you are suddenly filled with renewed hope and excitement. However reality has taught a painful lesson and hope fades very quickly and you stop jumping when the phone goes and no longer fret if you are in an area without a phone signal. You actually manage to convince yourself that it is not going to happen, ever. For me this makes life more bearable and allows me to get on with enjoying the things I can do without constant disappointment.

Gosh, sorry! I got a bit maudlin there, must be the weather.

Today I am going to wrap up warm and do a trawl of the local charity shops. I'm not exactly short of books but I have several series on the go that need the next in line before I can read the ones I already have. It may not be a country house and it may not be exciting but it gets me out of the house for a while. If I'm feeling flush I might even treat us both to a Costa coffee.

It seems my picture recipes are going down well so I may do that again sometime. I must say it was fun doing it too, even though Andrew moaned that I was taking too longer to serve up because I was 'messing around with your camera'. Tisk! No one appreciates an artist.

Strange Saturday.

I had a lovely day yesterday. I did nothing. Today I intend to have similar time.

To be fair I actually did get quite a lot of things done but they were pleasurable. I cooked a special lunch for my boys, unfortunately Laurence was at work so I only got two, and supervised a bit of gardening in between the showers. Mostly though, I sat on my backside and watched TV. I started off with the Grand Prix qualifying, which was a lot more interesting than normal and bodes well for the actual race.

In the evening I watched BGT and am really glad I did, more of that later, then it was a choice of Eurovision or something else, I went for something else. I used to be an avid watcher but over the years politics, like everything else it touches, has ruined it for me. You know who is going to vote for whom before voting even starts. There is no tension anymore. I suppose you could say the weird and wonderful novelty acts are worth the hours of air time but they are too few and far between to waste my time. I didn't miss it. Instead I got my belly laughs from Red Dwarf.

As you know I occasionally add recipes to my blogs to share. Over the years I've received a few comments asking for photos so the reader knows what the dish is supposed to look like. So in response to this, here is the dish I cooked yesterday complete with pictures. Let me know what you think.

Creamy spicy sausage pasta (serves 4)

You will need approx 11/2 pound ripe tomatoes skinned, seeds removed and cut into quarters. Spicy Italian or Spanish sausage (I'm using chorizo today) sliced, fresh rosemary finely chopped, 300ml single cream, 1 - 2 teaspoons dried chilli flakes, depending on how hot you want it, a little oil.

Rub a small amount of oil around the base of a non stick frying pan and set on high heat to warm.

Added the sausage and fry until browned on both sides.

Remove excess oil from pan with a paper towel. This is important, the cream with separate if this is not done.

Lower heat to medium and add the tomatoes, 3 tablespoons of water and the rosemary and cook until soft and 'mushy', about 5 - 7 minutes.

Lower heat to lowest setting and add cream and chilli. Cook for 5 - 7 minutes until sauce thickens and reduces slightly.

Add half the sauce to cooked pasta, penne or fusilli works best, and stir well. I never weigh my pasta so can't give you an exact weight, my best guess is approx 350 - 400gms. Plate up and then pour the remaining sauce over the top. Alternatively put pasta in a serving dish and let diners serve themselves. This is a heavy, rich sauce so a green leaf salad would be the best side dish.

Britain's Got Talent Watch

It was weird week this week. Last week I said I'd all but given up watching but I'm so glad I didn't.

First up was Simon Cowell. Yes really! Obviously not THE Simon Cowell, he has no discernible talent, but a man blessed with the same name and very little of anything else. He sang a nice song nicely but without any verve or panache but got through anyway.

Next up was a scary troop of dancers who were quite good but I'm getting rather board of dance acts now. They are all doing the same moves to the same frantic music and only the costumes seem to change. They got thought though, I think the judges were too scared to say no.

The joy of the night for me was another dancer going by the name of Rafe (excuse spelling). He was a fairly good looking chap with an ego the size of Jupiter. When asked whether he had a girlfriend he said there was someone but they could not be together. Awww, went the audience, awww, went the judges. Intrigued they probed further. Was this a love lorn suitor who's lady love was already taken perhaps? By now the audience were right behind him despite Rafe not having actually done anything yet. However, not one to recognise an advantage when it presents itself, Rafe showed his true character by admitting he dumped her because she was getting in the way of his ambition. Way to go Rafe! With audience and judges aghast Rafe launched into a rather bizarre dance that Rafe was convinced would land him a place in a Bollywood film. Amanda spoke for everyone when she announced 'I'm really disappointed. I though we were going to get some real Bollywood dancing.'  Rafe was also disappointed when he was unanimously voted off.

Among the best of the rest was an impressionist who was actually quite good. And yet another scary dance troop dressed as tubby majorettes.

The weirdest act was three male dances wearing high heels and dancing to the Spice Girls. They managed to be fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. Full marks though as they pulled moves I'd never manage in stilettos, at least not without breaking an ankle.

Yay! I have found a child act I actually like. The last act was brilliant and got Simon's golden buzzer. They were two boys with a rap about bullying and for once I really liked it. They were like a mini Ant and Dec and as normal as they come. I rather hope they get to the finals.

Finally, in the news.

It was all over the papers yesterday about an elderly man trying to 'walk off' with a toddler in a shopping center. My paper even likened the incident to the James Bulger case. The man, in his eighties, thought the child was lost and was taking the boy to a nearby woman he thought was the mum. The police sent out warnings and wanted 'witnesses' to come forward. The man himself turned himself in and after an 'investigation' was released without charge after police concluded he meant no harm and was just trying to do the right thing. So where was the mum in all this. She had already entered a shop leaving her child to follow 'some yards' behind her. Why has no one had a go her for not taking care of her son properly in a busy shopping center? When my two were small if they wanted to walk they either held my hand or held onto the pushchair. They were not allowed to wander around behind me.

Accidents happen, bad things happen, but if this woman was paying attention all this fuss and bother, not to mention police time and scaring an innocent old man, could have been avoided. Has this woman apologised to the old gent? I very much doubt it, I suspect she is still seething with (misplaced) indignation that the man was not slung in the cells. After all it won't be her fault that her son was put in danger would it!

Freaky Friday

It was a rather strange day yesterday.

After all the nonsense with H@H I was determined to put it all behind me and relax. However that was not as easy as it sounds. The day started well with breakfast in bed, a slow read of the papers followed by a bath. After that it all went a bit, well, weird.

'I put everything away.'

I wandered down into the kitchen to make another cup of tea and spotted a little problem. Last night Andrew had been cooking. Now I have berated him about a millions times about clearing up after himself, so after much clattering around he emerged from the kitchen telling me he'd cleared away and washed up and I 'wouldn't know he'd been there'. Oh Yeah! The flour jar was out on the counter with the lid off and the counter itself looked like a snow storm had hit it. To be fair though he had washed up and everything else was clean and tidy. It's a start.

The weather wasn't great and the planned gardening was shelved so we went out shopping instead. For some reason that I couldn't explain I felt nervous and edgy and at times a little light headed and faint. I tried to ignore it, as you do, but just ended up feeling a whole lot worse.

We did our grocery shop first and by some miracle, this NEVER happens when I have a son in tow, it came in well under fifty pounds. I think things were helped by the fact Andrew is on a health kick at the moment and loaded the trolley with fruit and veg rather than the usual ready meals and sweets. I did notice a pizza or two creeping in but, as he has a couple of jobs coming up, I reasoned they were things he could cook quickly and easily after a long shift. I left the store feeling quite rich. The feeling didn't last though. I went to pay my newspaper bill and had to line up behind a gaggle of school girls right between the biscuits and the sweets. Disaster! However I did share them around so escaped any criticism.

'And I cleaned everything down.'

Back home we unpacked and put away then I stripped the beds and did the laundry before settling down to cook lunch. Again, I still had this awful feeling as though something bad was going to happen. And it almost did! I had promised the boys gnocchi in a tomato and basil sauce smothered in mozzarella. It's a favourite and relative quick to cook. However I nearly went into a panic as I couldn't find any of the ingredients. Eventually I located them, someone had put them in the wrong cupboard, and disappointment was averted.

After lunch, after a somewhat busy morning, we settled on the settee to watch some more Red Dwarf. We have been watching this on and off for the past week or so and are now up to series six. I shared the sweets around and indulged myself with a cup of Earl Grey. I normally drink the bog standard tea, usually whatever brand is cheapest that week, however I do love the Twinnings brand but they are so expensive but this week they were half price so I bought my three favourite types. I will be indulging on and off all week. My absolute favourite is Earl Grey and it reminds me of Laurence as that is practically all I drank when I was carrying him.

After watching the whole of the sixth series we were all Dwarfed out and I was still feeling really strange so I asked Andrew to check me over. Everything seemed fine, my blood pressure, oxygen SATs and pulse rate were all normal for me so he concluded that it might just be that I'm having 'one of those days'. That's the joy of having a trained medic, especially one who really understand PH, in the family. If I'm feeling a bit off he can offer reassurance and stop me worrying myself worse.

This morning it was again hammering down when I woke up so I followed exactly the same routine as yesterday, including cleaning the kitchen, sigh! The sun is attempting to come out now but everything is sodden so I suspect there won't be much gardening going on today either. However I don't mind so much as I'd planned to watch the qualifying for tomorrow's Spanish Grand Prix and then indulging in some baking anyway. Walnut and banana loaf is on the cards and maybe come choc chip muffins. I feel better today but still a little light headed. I'm going to wear my oxygen for most of the day and see if that makes a difference.

The rest of the weekend is going to be spent researching somewhere to visit for a day out. I've had a lot of suggestions and they are all wonderful. It's going to be a hard pick.

Right! I had better get dressed. Yes, it is almost lunchtime, and yes, I am still in my dressing gown, and then I have tomatoes to peel. More tomorrow. Oh, just a reminder, it's Eurovision tonight. I feel another Red Dwarf series coming on.

When Forced to Rely on the Unreliable

Oh my goodness where to start!

This week has been an ongoing battle with Healthcare at Home. As regular readers will know the delivery of my new drug did not turn up on Friday as expected. After much hanging on the phone and getting the Brompton involved a new date was finally agreed which was supposed to be Wednesday. Did the delivery arrive? Did it hell!

I was at work on Wednesday, Peter stayed at home to wait for the delivery. At eight o'clock he went onto H@H tracker website and found to his horror that there was no delivery scheduled. He rang H@H and got through immediately only to be told they couldn't check anything as they had a power cut and all their computers were down. Peter was told they would ring back. By nine thirty there was no call back and still nothing on the website so he rang again. This time he was unable to get through at all so he rang Carl at the Brompton who said he'd get right on to it. To cut a long story short both Peter and Carl spent the entire day trying to sort this out. At one point Carl reported back that H@H were now also refusing to speak to him and kept putting the phone down on him. By the time I got home I was seething and something snapped. I decided to take my complaint right to the top and so emailed this to the CEO.

Dear Mr Gordon

In my last email dated 10/01/2014 I complained about the service I was getting from H@H and expressed the hope I would not need to contact you again over this matter. Unfortunately your rude, inadequately trained staff have decided to prove me wrong.

On Monday 28^th April I was changed over from Flolan to Veletri. You company was alerted and a new prescription was issued. I was due a delivery on Friday 2^nd May. After speaking to one of your call handlers I was assured that all was in place and the delivery would arrive.

On Friday 2^nd May I looked on the tracker system you have and discovered no delivery was due. After a forty minute wait I got through to a call handler who blamed the Royal Brompton for the mix up saying the prescription had not been authorised. I phone the Royal Brompton who looked into it and assured me it had. I called H@H back and this time, with a different call handler, no mention of authorising a prescription was made but a new delivery date was arranged for 7^th May between 0800 – 1300.  At the same time two large sharps bins and the excess old medication was to be collected as H@H had failed to do so on previous occasions.

This morning when checking the tracker still no delivery for me so I rang H@H again. I was told they had a power cut and the computers were down so they would call back. No call back came so I called again at 0943 when I was told the delivery would definitely be with me today.  No delivery arrived so I called again at 1530. I was kept waiting for almost 30 minutes and then was cut off. I called the Royal Brompton who also called H@H and again a delivery was promised for today. I called H@H again and the person I spoke to caused further alarm by constantly referring to the wrong medication.

My order eventually arrived but was incomplete and incorrect. I have not been sent any green needles and I have the wrong type of dressing pack which will mean yet more time on the phone to your incompetent staff trying to correct these mistakes tomorrow.

I am absolutely disgusted at the way you are treating seriously ill and vulnerable patients who rely on the medication you are supposed to supply to keep them alive. I will be posting this email on facebook and in the blog I write. I will also be forwarding it to the media. Maybe when your reputation is at stake instead of just my life you will pull your finger out and get this sorted.

Regards

Hazel Roberts

This email had an effect. On Thursday the CEO's office rang but unfortunately I was in work so Peter took the call. They were very sorry for what had happened and the CEO was very keen to speak to me to get 'the full picture with the view of launching an investigation'. They said they guaranteed my missing items would be with me that day and the wrong items removed. Then they said they would ring back when I was at home.

It's not as though you can pick this lot up at Tesco's

The delivery did arrive just after seven yesterday evening but as yet there has been no call back from the CEO. I suspect there won't be but I'm not going to let this drop. From now on I am going to document everything that H@H does wrong, from not ringing on the day they say, to not answering calls to wrong deliveries. I suggest anyone suffering similar problems do the same. If you would like the CEO's email contact me and I'll forward it to you. I'm sure he will be delighted to hear from you. If you do contact the CEO then copy your email to your PH nurse specialist. According to Carl the PH centers and H@H have quarterly meetings to discuss problems. Carl says if they can take a stack of emails to wave at them it will carry more weight. Also every meeting is minuted and documented and all complaints raised have to be addressed. With a bit of luck we can make sure these cowboys do not have their contract renewed.

And breathe and let it go.

Today I start a ten day break from work. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to kicking back and relaxing. I do have a few 'must do's' though. On Wednesday I'm off to Papworth for a CT scan. As lung transplant involves different plumbing than heart/lung transplant they want to check out my bits and pieces so they know what to expect for either op. As the doctor said, 'the last thing we want after such a long wait is a nasty surprise.' Fair enough. I'm also getting my car serviced. I can't believe I've had it for a year. It still feels so new, despite being driven as though I stole it.

Today it is the usual trip to Tesco's and then I have a weekend of motor sport to look forward too. It's a hard life but somebody has to do it. More tomorrow.

World Pulmonary Hypertension Day

Yes it is that time of year again when PH sufferers, friends and relatives try to raise awareness for this horrible illness. So, I hear you ask, where are the newspapers ads and articles? Where are the TV appeals and programmes? Well PH is very much a Cinderella of the terminal illnesses simply because it is so rare. Only 4000 people, approximately, have been diagnosed with it in the UK and world wide the number is in the tens of thousands not hundreds of thousands or even millions. One in three of us will be touched by cancer at some point in our lives. Everyone knows someone who has died from heart related illness. MND, MS, Parkinsons, Alzheimer's are all well known and well publicised conditions. Even if you don't know what they are at least you have heard of them. 

PH is very different. The chances are you've only heard of it because you are, or know someone, suffering from it. For the media it is not something they can really get a story out of or get too worked up about. There are so few people who would be interested in the subject that really there is little point. However there is a point and a very big one. If diagnosed early you have a much, much better chance of living a relatively normal life for years to come. In that time new drugs will be developed and one day, hopefully, a cure.

So if you, or someone close to you, have suddenly developed asthma which is only getting worse and not responding to treatment see your doctor and mention the possibility. Only an expert can diagnose properly so don't get fobbed off, insist on a referral, it might just save your life. It took ten years for me to finally be diagnosed, and then it was by chance. By then the damage was done. Early diagnoses is the single most important weapon in the fight against PH. For more information on the symptoms and treatment of PH visit
http://www.phassociation.uk.com/  Link is also permanently displayed on the sidebar of this blog.

Yesterday I more or less succeeded in having a really lazy day.

The only real fly in the ointment was that I've chosen Sunday for my weekly drug prep. I've chosen Sunday as it is the one day in the week that we never go out in the evening. We deliberately keep it free so I can get myself together and have an early night before work on Monday.

So I went upstairs, turned on the TV and tuned in to Pointless Celebrities, was there ever a more apt name for a show, and started to lay out everything I was going to need. The first thing I discovered was that I needed more room, a lot more room, so the sharps bin ended up on the floor beside my chair and everything else had to be pushed further aside. It took me a full fifteen minutes to unwrap everything and then I got started. With Flolan the whole process, including unwrapping, took around forty minutes. I was all done and dusted within an hour. Now I know seventy five minutes sounds like a really long time to be messing about with medication, and yes it was quite boring, and yes my hands did get very sweaty in the sterile gloves but that didn't matter. It means that tonight it will take me all of five minutes, if that, to change over my cassette. On a day like today it means I can spend my late afternoon/early evening sitting on the decking with a book and a drink instead of sweating it out in a hot bedroom. I am so grateful I could cry. Now if only I can get rid of the Sunday marathon as well, that would be perfect.

Today I'm venturing out into the garden for the first time this year, other than my quick walk around, to enjoy a relaxing sit and think. No doubt at some point the air will be invaded by the stink of barbecues but until then I'm going to enjoy the scent of next door's lilac bush and my honeysuckle. Peter is busy getting things ready and has warned that it is still a bit nippy out there at the moment so I'll wait until after lunch before attempting any outdoor reading. So this morning it is mundane tasks like ironing my uniform ready for tomorrow and putting flea treatment on Smirnoff, yes it is that time of year again. At least I haven't had any little presents dropped at my feet but as he is sixteen this week maybe hunting is a bit beyond him now.

Better get on, next blog Friday.

Wash Day Blues.

Talk about rushed off your feet! There's me looking forward to a relaxing extended break and then all hell lets loose.

Friday was as busy as it was pleasurable. My MP3 player had died so I was on the hunt for a replacement. This meant that after doing the grocery shop and having a quick lunch we were off to Milton Keynes in the hope I'd be able to find something to my taste.

Last time I went looking for a MP3 player I had so much choice, this time no choice at all unless I wanted an iPod, which I didn't, or something made by Sony. I don't buy anything from Sony on principles as I object to their sweatshop way of manufacture. So in the main shopping center that left me with absolutely no choice at all. We widened our search and ended up in Maplin, where I bought a nice looking MP3 player with a brand name I've never heard of.  It wasn't exactly what I wanted but it will do for the purpose it was intended. It was cheap at £39 and holds 4GB so perfect for my hospital stay. Due to the price if it gets broken, lost or stolen it won't be a tragedy. It is also easy to charge from a laptop so that means one less plug to carry with me. For my home/everyday use I've ordered a Creative Zen Touch. I've always like Zen's and hope this one is as good as my dead one.

Of course I couldn't go to Milton Keynes without calling on a few other shops. I came back with a huge amount, well for me, and most I designated 'essential'. I bought a load of bath bombs from Lush, some Bio Oil, which actually is quite essential. I have very dry skin and I smear myself in the stuff after a warm bath. I use it everywhere, arms, legs, face, neck and it works a treat. The amount I got yesterday will last me until at least Christmas so not such a guilty purchase. The one buy I do regret is a tube of BB cream. It was half price and I was seduced by clever sales talk. I tried it yesterday and although it was OK, the coverage was rather good actually, I hated the way it felt sticky to touch. It promise to sink in without any residue oiliness or shine. My face shone like a beacon and I looked as though I'd been dipped in a tub of Vaseline. I won't waste it, I hate waste, but it will be worn occasionally rather than daily.

Yesterday it was off up to Rushden to help Laurence with his washing machine crisis. After a quick examination the machine was declared dead and so it was off to Argos to collect a new one. We had lunch first and then Peter and Laurence went out while Andrew and I cleared away and washed up. Half an hour later they were back and the new machine was installed and set to run. Andrew was positioned in the utility room to watch for leaks and Peter and Laurence disappeared again. After struggling all winter to dry his clothes, Laurence had decided to invest in a tumble drier. They were soon back and the tumbler was duly installed on top of the washing machine. The small leak that Andrew discovered was stopped and then they were off again, this time to the tidy tip to dispose of the old machine. Then it was a quick dash home so Andrew could go back to Hatfield to attend the end of course party. I've been told not to expect him back today.

So today id definitely a 'do nothing day', tomorrow, if the weather is nice, I'm going to venture into the garden and check out the decking and the wooden furniture to see if it needs a coat of varnish before it is brought into use for the summer.

Britain's Got Talent

Oh dear! Rather a lack luster show last night with no one act either good enough or bad enough to really stand out.

We had dancers who, from a distance, looked naked. All I have to say about that is if you have to look naked to get through then your dancing isn't up to much. We had a blue puppet with an annoying voice, the usual child, this time dressed in white with a white piano, yawn, and a variety of singers who couldn't.

For me there were three acts that caught my attention. One was an illusionist who was, fair play, pretty good. Then we had a boy band who sang a rat pack song very well. What a relief, young men not trying to be One Direction and my favourite, the worst impressionist in the whole world. He was so, so bad but hilarious because he really though he was good and look totally bewildered when told no he wasn't.

I'm beginning to loose hope with this year's series. There is only so much one human brain can take before it gives up, and I think I'm reaching that point. There may not be a BGT round up next week, well maybe.

Talking 'bout My Medication

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Rant Alert!

Bloody Healthcare at Home. You would have thought wouldn't you that changing a medication would be simple. Not where H@H is concerned it's not.

I was due a delivery today of medication and all the bits that go with it such as syringes etc. I'd been reassured when I left the Brompton on Monday that H@H had been told about the change so all should be OK. This morning I checked my tracker to see when my delivery time slot was. Nothing for me listed so I rang them. After ages hanging on the phone I got through to a chap who told my my medication had been cancelled. It seems they'd read the part of the notice that said cancel but not the part that said replace. I'm ashamed to say I lost it and gave the bloke on the end of the line the dressing down of his life. Honestly the problems I've had with this firm over the last twelve months is enough to drive anybody mental. Chastened he apologised profusely, said he would reinstate my order with the new medication and it would all be delivered on Wednesday. I also contacted Carl to let him know what had happened and he is going to have a go at them also. I tell you if my order doesn't arrive correctly on Wednesday you'll be seeing me on the news bulletins because I'll have driven to my local depot and killed someone.

Apart from that my new Veletri has been wonderful. I'm still getting to grips with working out a new routine but I think I've more or less got is sussed out now and as a result have bags more time. I'm still getting mini panic attacks thinking I should have change my cassette over by now etc, etc but overall I am really happy. The drug seems to be having a positive effect on my breathing as well and I am a lot better. So much so I can now walk to the canteen in work without my oxygen, bonus! The only down side is that the nausea has returned. It is not as bad as it was with the Flolan and I'm not actually vomiting so that's good but of course it means my appetite has fallen away again. And if I don't eat I lose weight so here we go again. Overall though I think Veletri has been a very good move for me and once the nausea stops I think it will really make a big difference, at least to how I spend my time.

So it is bank holiday weekend and I have Monday off, yes I did check before I left yesterday. I don't want anymore embarrassing moments turning up when I'm not supposed to. However it is unlikely to be an entirely restful one. Laurence's washing machine broke down this week and we are going up to Rushden to help him collect and install a new one tomorrow. Today I'm doing my usual Tesco run, picking up my prescription for my other drugs from my GP and then I'm off on a mission.

My MP3 player finally died on me and I cannot bare the thought of being in hospital with my music so I'm going on a hunt to find a new one at a decent price. I haven't really got any idea of what I want apart from it is not going to be in iPod. I want to listen to my music without restraints so that is an immediate rejection. Whether I find anything I don't know but I'm hopeful.

In the news I'm disturbed by the sudden and vicious attacks on Jeremy Clarkson. In the latest attack someone took a rejected segment of Clarkson supposedly saying a racist word. This clip had been rejected by Clarkson himself because he felt it would be misinterpreted but someone saw fit to send it to Clarkson's arch rival's former newspaper and now the permanently offended are screaming for blood.  I've watched the clip and to be honest you need to have the hearing of a hawk to make anything out. Now I don't condone racism in any shape or form and I have to admit that sometimes Clarkson sails very close to the wind. Having said that some of the claims have been rather stupid. Apparently calling your dog after a footballer you admire is racist now just because both dog and footballer are black. Surely that's a compliment not racist? Or am I seriously missing something here? Anyway, I just think things have been blown up out of all proportion and it's about time the howlers got a grip. I suspect if I called a white cat David Beckham no one would turn a hair, unless it was to question my taste that is.

Shopping awaits, I bet I come back with everything but an MP3 player. Someone warn the bank, Hazel is on the loose with her credit card.