If I Knew You Were Coming I'd Have Baked a Cake

Well fortunately I do and I am.

I am looking forward to what promises to be a good day. Wales are playing Italy, Laurence is coming for tea and I'm making a cake. I'm using the recipe I had my first success with so I'm fairly confident it will turn out OK and I've bought whipped cream and strawberry jam for the filling so with a bit of luck it will be really yummy.

I had a really good night's sleep last night and woke naturally around seven, obviously I am beginning to relax into my holiday and with the good news I had yesterday I'm feeling really good about things at the moment. Of course we all know what would make life perfect but it looks like I'm going to have to wait a little longer for that.

I have now set up my new face book page so my friends and family can be updated when the big day arrives. I haven't invited everyone and there is a reason for this. Some I plainly do not trust, they have been removed from my FB friends anyway so this is not a problem, and others will be updated by other means anyway. Arrangements have already been put in place for my work colleagues to be kept informed for instance. And I'm pretty sure news will travel anyway, it usually does.

I started today off with a long soak in the bath followed by a hot chocolate to keep the warm glow going and help keep the weight on. To be honest I don't think I'm going to have any problems while it is still so cold as I find I always eat more when the temperature drops. The problem is going to come in the summer because the hotter it gets the less I eat and if it is very hot I don't eat at all. Still we will tackle that when it comes and you never know I might not need to worry by then. Talking of weather it is snowing again, yes it is pretty and the first fall is very exciting but it's March next week and we need to see some sun and some warmth.

With the realisation that spring is on the doorstep I am itching to get out and start putting the garden to rights but one breath outside and I start gasping. It may be dry but it is so cold I wouldn't even attempt to do anything. This is what I'm finding really frustrating when it is dry it is too cold and when it warms up it is raining. I just can't win!

In the news today a picture of Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Whatever showing off the most hideous tattoo I've ever seen. I've never liked Cheryl, I find her false and unpleasant and I hate big tattoos on women, so I suppose you could say I was biased from the start. Small, delicate and discrete tattoos can be very attractive, and tattoos always look good on men, no idea why they just do. Cheryl's are two enormous roses on her back and they look like wallpaper. Not attractive, just cheap and nasty. Just goes to show money can't buy taste.

Unable to get near the garden I'm having a quick run round with a duster and mop, ably assisted by Andrew. Then I'll get down to baking so I can give my full attention this afternoon to the rugby. And with that said I'd better go and get on with it or there won't even be lunch, let alone cake.

Two Months And Counting

Yes it is two months today that I was put on the transplant list at Papworth and hasn't time flown! It all still seems very new and, although I no longer jump quite so high when the phone goes at an odd hour, I still get my heart rate going.

Talking of which I had my regular MOT at the Royal Brompton this morning.

I had all the usual tests including ECHO and my consultant was delighted with the result. My heart continues to improve to the point that some of the readings today were actually normal. My pressures are still quite high but my right side continues to shrink, which I am told is an excellent sign that the heart is slowly repairing itself. He then ruined it a bit buy saying, 'your heart is in really good shape, for someone with your condition'. Oh well, I suppose being in 'good shape' for my 'condition' is better than being in poor shape in any condition. However he did say that my heart is now so good it should withstand a lung transplant with little problem, so that is reassuring to hear.

While I was there I was asked by Lisa, one of the specialist nurses, if I would speak to a lady whom they were considering putting on a Flolan pump. She was very reluctant and to be honest I think seeing what is involved may have done more harm than good as she more or less said no flat out. Having said all that I could tell just by looking at her that she was extremely image conscious so having a machine attached was just unthinkable to her. I'm sure she will come around in time and if her condition worsens any further. I think with such a big step you have to get to a point when the cure actually does look like the better option. I know if the pump had been offered to me while I could still get around and keep working I would have said a big fat 'no' too.

I have also put on a little more weight. I am now 51 kilos or just around 7 stone 13lbs so not far off my target weight. I had to ring Papworth with the results of my tests and for my monthly report and they were absolutely delighted, I'm told this will make a big difference to my recovery. I was told very sternly, to make sure it stayed on.

Since the big Organ Donation drive, just over a week ago now, 147,000 people have signed up, that is a massive number and I can't even begin to express my gratitude. On the other hand since I went onto the list 186 people have died waiting. That's three people a day. Lets hope that that figure comes down to two a day or just one a day or please, please God, none.

Well time to unwind and grab a nice sweet cuppa and have a catch up with Andrew, who has returned again this weekend because the heating in his rooms is playing up and 'it's bloody freezing'. Kids, just when you think you've got rid of them they keep coming back. Would I have it any other way? No!

A Quick Catch Up

There is nothing quite like a good gossip over tea and chocolates and that's how I spent Sunday afternoon. I had such fun and enjoyed the catch up with my best friend so much it was hard to drag myself away. However the need for a drug change and sleep meant I was on my way home sooner than I wanted to be. Never mind we have pencilled in a future date when we are both free so we can do it all again then.

The week on the whole hasn't been too bad over all.

I'm feeling pretty perky which is a nice change and great timing as I'm off to the Brompton on Friday for my regular MOT. And work hasn't been all that strenuous as I begin to settle into the new shifts and get used to the new faces.

This morning, however, was nearly a disaster.

I woke naturally at ten to six and turned my alarm off so I could just doze for ten minutes before getting up. I bet you can guess what is coming next,oh yes you can. My alarm clicks even when turned off so I was pretty confident I'd know when my ten minutes were up. No such luck and when I next looked at the clock it was half past six. I must have had the quickest shower in history and gulped down my breakfast during breaks in putting my make up on. I have no idea how I did it but I arrived at work five minutes earlier than usual.

I am really pleased because finally the solution to a problem I've been mulling over for weeks presented itself yesterday and I can't thank Stacie enough for thinking of it.

I have been trying to think of a way of keeping everyone informed of progress when I finally get the call. I didn't want Peter to be on the phone all the time and of course if there are complications I don't want him bothered by constant questions. Stacie came up with the brilliant idea of setting up a new facebook page to be used as a status update come the great day. So I will be adding this little task to my 'to do' list for next week and will get to it. Expect an invite soon.

Well better go and get something to eat. Next blog may be Friday, if I get back from the Brompton in time but is more likely to be Saturday.

Did I tell you I was on holiday next week, so excited. I'm not going anywhere but it will be nice to be off work without being ill.

Having a Bit of a Grump

I am in a bit of a grump this morning.

Why? Well to be honest it is because my facebook feed is getting continually clogged up by the new chain post. This post is regarding a woman who supposedly drowned in a sewage drain and if the post isn't passed on at least a trillion times the same fate will occur to anyone who reads it. What a load of total poo that is. Even more alarming is that people whom I previously thought of as intelligent and rational are not only falling for it but are then passing it on to me! It is not true, it is a hoax, you have more chance of winning the lottery than dying because you haven't sent this on so please stop passing it around and just delete it.

My cake making went really well yesterday though I don't like the end result. Yes the cake emerged light and fluffy and with it's filling and icing looks gorgeous but it just doesn't taste very nice. The boys love it but to me it tastes a bit bitter. Oh well, at least it will be eaten.

I am getting a bit excited as in four days time I am on holiday.

I have a lot of leave left over this year for one reason or another, mostly because a leave embargo was enforced during the Olympics, so I decided to book a week off and relax a little. I haven't anything planned and will play things by ear according to the weather. I will be honing my baking skills however and yes, I'm even going to try a steak and ale pie. The stress of the last six weeks or so have caught up with me a bit and I think I need a little bit of me time. I've only booked a week because I'll get bored if it is any longer and I'm stuck in the house because Peter is working or it's raining. A week is just long enough to recharge the batteries.

Andrew is home and not feeling at his best.

Not only does he have a cold, yes I know and I am on germ alert, but his stomach is playing him up again. Andrew has an intolerance to whey. It is OK in small doses but if he eats or drinks things with a high whey content he suffers the consequences. So what did genius do? He bought some protein powder and drank it before reading the side and realising it was practically all whey. Hopefully he's learned his lesson now but somehow I doubt it as when questioned he said he 'just didn't think'.

This afternoon I am off to spend a lovely couple of hours with my best friend Diana. We meet up once a month so catch up on gossip and get progress reports on our children. I'm really looking forward to it and hopefully the weather will remain sunny so I can have a lovely drive in country as part of the treat.

I caught a brief glimpse of 'Let's Dance For Comic Relief' and instantly though 'why'?

Don't get me wrong, Comic Relief does some wonderful things but, and I may offend here, I prefer Children In Need because it helps children in the UK. As a country we give billions in aid every year, money that comes from our taxes. Considering the economic downturn and the increasing number of our own people who cannot afford to eat, keep a roof over their heads or afford decent clothing wouldn't it make sense to sort out our own back yard before messing with someone else's? And then on top off all the aid we give involuntarily we are hounded for months to dip into our ever more shallow pockets and give even more. Why? Why should we do this?

They say that Comic Relief also helps children in the UK and yet all the small films they show are of African children so, and I may be wrong, I don't think it is much. I give to charity and I spend money in charity shops but I always chose to give to charities that will help our own. Selfish? Well I suppose it is in a way but I firmly believe that only when we can say, hand on heart, there is not one hungry, frightened, desperately ill child in the whole of the UK, can we help other countries. Until then I'm afraid Comic Relief will get none of my money, I'm sending my fiver to the NSPCC.

Right off to the kitchen, bangers and mash for lunch. The sausages from my local butcher, I'm not taking any chances.

Dammed If You Do And Dammed If You Don't.

This is going to be a bit of rant.

Yesterday I was flicking though some magazines while Peter was busy deciding which bread to buy. Long gone is the 'throw it in the trolley and hope for the best' method of shopping he used to adopt. The last week or so has seen every ingredient read and analysed before the produce ever hits the basket. This is not only annoying, because we never buy any ready meals, but time consuming. Anyway back to the main rant.

I was flicking through some magazines when I came across a section called something like 'celebrity grooming gaffs'. In this article there were several picture of, what looked to me, perfectly turned out women doing everyday things like walking down the street. Each picture contained a circle within which was a magnified piece of their anatomy. One, may heaven forgive her, had chipped nail polish on her big toe. Another had a spot on her chin and the picture that astounded me most showed a woman with three, and I counted, stray hairs on the bridge of her nose. The article went on to roundly lambaste these poor women for being slovenly and wondered how they dared show their faces in such a state.

In the paper this morning there were two more articles, one featured two young women in their twenties who both had surgery on their breasts and bottoms so that they would look like Jennifer Lopez. The results I have to say make them look like cartoon copies of their heroine with bums so overinflated I wonder whether they can ever sit on a chair with their backs flush against the back rest. Not surprisingly these two go on to moan about how they wish they'd never had it done because they don't like the attention they get. So why did they do it? Well partly because of mum's insistence and partly just because they could, even though they had to go to Columbia to get the work done as at fifteen they were to young to get it done in the UK.

The other story featured failing actress Martine McCutcheon who has just been declared bankrupt and celebrated the event by having £500 worth of extensions put in.

So why have these stories made me so cross?

Well, take your ideal woman as prescribed by the cult of celebrity. This woman should be completely hairless except on her head where the hair should be thick and style to within an inch of it's life at all times, regardless of weather conditions of what activity the owner is indulging in. The idea woman should weigh no more than five stone but have gravity defying boobs the size of basketballs and a backside you could rest a cup and saucer on. She must be perfectly made up in this seasons colours and yet also look as though she isn't wearing make up at all. And last but not least she must be dressed in the hottest trends and if at all possible she must not be seen in the same outfit twice, the worst possible crime is wearing an item that is 'out of season'. Fail to follow any of these dictates and you are immediately classed a failure as size twelve Martine found to her cost. Her bum, by the way, is naturally rounded so obviously not good enough.

Now let's look at your average woman. This woman will have hair everywhere, she will remove it only from the bits she will be leaving uncovered. On very, very special occasions she might be tempted to remove more if the pain, embarrassment or cost doesn't put her off first.. The days when she has less than three hairs on the bridge of her nose can be counted on the fingers of one hand as she doesn't have time to examine herself for these small imperfections every day of the week. Her hair will usually be scraped back in a bun or pony tail or on seriously bad hair days covered with a hat. Her hair is only styled on special occasions and is promptly ruined by a puff of wind the minute she steps out of the salon. Makeup consists of a quick coating of mascara and a slick of lipstick as she runs out of the door. Her nail polish is permanently chipped because she has to do her own housework. Her wardrobe is made up of things that suit her and old favourites, as she doesn't have the money to spend on expensive mistakes that she'll only get one wear out of.

The difference between the ideal and reality is now so wide that young girls feel permanently inadequate and their confidence is lower than at any other time in history. More and more are killing themselves in their quest for this perfection, while others are bankrupting themselves and still keep spending as they try to live up to an ideal that does not exist in nature and never has.

When I was a teenager, all of four decades ago, which isn't that long, your brain and your character were the most important thing. Yes there was still pressure to look nice and to be fashionable but our ambitions were to be educated, go onto university or get a good job and make something of ourselves using nothing more than our brains and ambition. They say we women had it tough back then, still fighting to have equal pay with men, still fighting to be allowed to do the same jobs as men but I think it is so much harder today. At least our goals were achievable, all they required was effort.

Today my local police force is bracing itself for trouble. Our local football club Luton Town is playing host to Millwall and previous encounters have not ended well. The last time the teams played at Luton the town center was wrecked and as a result Luton banned away supporters for some time afterwards.

I'm not a football fan but I have lots of friends who are and regularly attend the matches. Some have wisely decided to stay at home for this one while others have decided to chance it, sighting the fact that things have changed since 1985. They certainly have, our society has got more violent for a start and more people think nothing of carrying knives around with them. Please stay safe everyone and lets have a good, safe game.

There is no rugby this weekend and so I will have some time to bake instead but first lunch, a pasta I think and then the ironing, the fun never stops.

The Higher They Are.......

Such great news today, 120,000 people have signed up to the organ donor list since the start of the campaign on Monday, what a fabulous success it has been. I send a great big thank you to all who have signed up so far and also to those whose work made it happen. Well done everyone.

It was Warfarin clinic today and although I arrived at more or less the same time as last visit, hoping for a small queue again, the place was packed out. I grabbed one of the magazines that I've read a hundred times before and settled down for a long wait.

About half an hour in and the doors to the clinic crashed open and who should arrive scowling, loud and unpleasant but the American woman I mentioned a few weeks ago. At the time I last wrote about her I'd commented that I'd hoped she was on a flying visit, sadly it seems it wasn't to be. For those that don't remember that particular blog a quick re-cap. This woman arrived at the clinic in her double width wheelchair and caused chaos and was extremely unpleasant to all and sundry. Her wheelchair was plonked in the corridor preventing everyone from getting to or from the curtained area where they do the tests and she took offense when asked to move. With this in mind I lowered my paper in anticipation of round two of hostilities between her and the staff. To my utter surprise her carer parked her carefully out of the way and when she was called she GOT OUT OF THE CHAIR AND WALKED TO THE BOOTH. I had to do a double take as last time, although the staff insisted she could walk the short distance, she was adamant that she could not. Clearly something had been said between the last time I saw her and today's visit. Or maybe she just decided that her New Year's resolution was to stop being such an awkward cow.

I also witnessed a second equally surprising incident but this one made my blood boil. There was a new  nurse in clinic today and I didn't really take notice until she called the name of a particularly frail old lady sitting two rows in front of me. Although this nurse was less than two feet away from this old lady she just stood and watched as the old girl gamely tried to get up from her seat. After a few moments of struggle it became clear that she wasn't going to make it without help but this nurse did not move an inch. Instead several other patients went to this old lady's rescue, one actually had to barge the nurse out of the way to get to her and still the nurse did nothing. A dark murmur went around the room as the nurse disappeared behind the curtain leaving the old lady trailing in her wake. No one was impressed. For me the thought that maybe her attitude was the reason she had been booted off the ward to work in clinic but maybe I'm just being a tad unkind.

The weather, for a change, is beautiful today but the wind was still biting and I took great pleasure in sauntering along the road between car and clinic and back again without having to dress up like I'm treking across the arctic. We did briefly toy with the idea of going out and having a quick whizz around the charity shops for books this afternoon but the icy breeze put us off. I'm on a weeks leave at the end of the month so we'll do it then, when hopefully things will have warmed up a bit more.

Flush with my baking success last week I went and bought some new equipment today. I bought two deep sandwich tins and a large bread tin. I am planning to try and make bread again during my week off and have a delicious walnut and brandy chocolate cake lined up to make tomorrow.

In the news the horse meat scandal rumbles on and more and more products are being removed from shops while processing plants and abattoirs are being raided throughout the UK and Europe. I can't say I'm surprised but it isn't the horse meat that worries me, it is all the other stuff they've been chucking in hoping nobody will ever notice.

The big, big news of course is the arrested of blade runner Oscar Pistorius after he killed his girlfriend by shooting her four times at close range. Although the murder would be shocking in any circumstances the horror of the situation seems to be amplified by the fact that he is disabled. I don't know why the disabled seem to instantly gain the status of sainthood but they do and so when a disabled person does something like this it always seems so much worse. There seems to be some debate as to what exactly happened at the moment and no doubt things will become clearer as the case progresses. For me I'm just sorry that a person who was such an inspiration to so many disabled people around the world has destroyed everything he stands for in one blind flash of anger.

Well it looks like our decision to stay at home was justified as a big black cloud has just rolled in and there are a few spots of rain on the window. I just have time for a nice cuppa and a chocolate doughnut before I go and collect Andrew from uni, he was parted from his bike once again by last weekend's snow. I seem to be doing more taxi duties since he moved out than I ever did when he lived here, such is life.

Doing Us Proud

Just a quick blog today to praise the efforts of fellow PH sufferers, and transplant buddies, Kath Graham and Stacie Pridden for their brilliant efforts to get the message about organ donation across. You were both very good and if we don't get some more donors on the list just on your efforts alone I'll eat my hat.

Yes it is ITV's awareness week as they push to increase the number of people putting their names forward to be donors.

To be honest, because of work commitments, I have mostly had to watch it on catch up but what I have seen has impressed me enormously. I was sort of expecting it to be all a bit mushy but it hasn't been like that at all so far and the programmes, interviews and news stories have all be very interesting. There is a special programme on tonight which I will be watching and I urge you all to do the same.

I am feeling better but just wish I could get rid of the ache in my back. I had to resort to pain killers this afternoon, which is never a good sign.

My spirits have been raised somewhat this week by working with fellow transplant patient John. He is coming up to his one year anniversary of his transplant and is looking really well. He is excited because passing the one year point means less hospital visits and the chance of a holiday abroad. He has taken time out to talk to me and has been nothing but encouraging, something I desperately need right now. It is lovely to see such a success and I really hope I'll be following in his footsteps very soon.

Talking of which I thought my time had come on Sunday morning when the phone rang just after nine. I was downstairs feeding the cats and I just froze. I knew that if Peter came charging down the stairs it was time, but he didn't, it wasn't so I made some toast and went back to bed to read the newspaper. This is the second weird call we've had this week, maybe the third one will be the lucky one, fingers crossed.

I have continued to lose weight, another pound fell off over the weekend and I know this is a very bad sign. Today I tried to make amends with a Toffee Crisp but then ruined it all by having a salad roll for lunch and nothing but tea for the rest of the afternoon. Obviously I must try harder.

Coming home this afternoon I drove through a mini blizzard and it is still snowing now. Pretty as it is I've had enough now. Can we please have a nice, warm early spring instead?

Well as I said, this is a quickie. A bigger blog will appear on Friday, until then keep safe and if you can watch ITV tonight at 8pm or 2200 hours whichever you prefer.