Saturday, 12 January 2013

Looking Forward

Excuse me if I seem a little tetchy in this blog but my computer is doing a load of updates and keeps trying to reboot itself despite me repeatedly clicking on the 'reboot later' tab. Don't you just love technology?

Well I did it! My first full week in eighteen months and although I was really tired yesterday I wasn't exhausted and after a good night I feel well and refreshed this morning. I have one last week to do and then we go to the new shift patterns and I start my part time hours. It still means an early start but I will be home by half past four so I'm knocking two hours off my day. I know it doesn't seem a lot but I have the option to reduce them even further if I want to, which might be needed at some point.

I am actually quite excited about next week as I am attending an awards ceremony on Thursday. Yes I've finally done something worthy of an award. I must admit I'm at a bit of a loss as to what exactly, especially after the crap year I've had but it is something to look forward to and a rare night out.

I have another goal added to my aims for the future. It is not going to happen this year, I've already blown that but all being well I could do it in 2014. Some of my colleagues have received letters congratulating them on 100% attendance. Oh what a dream that would be to get one of those.

I've also been chatting to my transplant buddy. It is ten months since his transplant and he looks so fit and well, I'm really envious. He did tell me something really encouraging though. He was put on the transplant list in January and had his transplant in March and he had also been told he'd be in for a nine or twelve month wait. It is nice to know that some people do get their calls much quicker than predicted as I'm not the most patient of people. However in my head I've resigned myself to a longer wait while also hoping for a quick result. Sometimes I almost scream with frustration that I haven't been called (it has been only three weeks) and at other times I hope it doesn't come yet because I have too much to do and I'm not sure I'm really ready. I have stopped jumping at every phone call though so I'm obviously getting used to things.

I sometimes think I'm going a bit crazy because I've started daydreaming about doing the things I miss. I've imagined myself walking up the stairs in work, a feat I've never achieved. Or walking down the road to the post box. Jumping into the warm waters of a swimming pool and jogging around the village listening ot Ozzy blasting away in my ears. These are things I have tried not to think about as they are the things I really miss. I know they are silly little things but they become huge when you can no longer do them. Sometimes I can even feel the wind in my hair or smell the chlorine. How weird is that? Peter says it is just because I've got my hope back but I think I'm just mental.

Andrew is back home only a week after returning to uni. He has exams coming up in two weeks and is finding it hard to study in his digs where there is so much noise and people coming in and out all the time, especially at weekends. So he has come home for some piece and quiet and will return tomorrow. I am actually quite pleased because my best friend, who also happens to be his God mother is coming around today and as she hasn't seen him for ages it will be nice for the two of them to catch up.

Laurence has had a terrible cold so is wisely staying away. He took his first sick day in two years because of it so it must have been bad. Luckily he is now on the mend and will call me tomorrow with an update.

Well better get too it, although the house is still tidy from Christmas there are a few paw prints that need removing from the coffee table and some fur that needs vacuuming off the settee. Sometimes I think the cats reckon they own the place.