Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Headaches

Hmmm, I don't know whether I should be writing this blog or not. I'm tired, fed up and so bored I could chew my own feet off.

The new shift patterns have come in and I don't think I was quite prepared for enormity of the change. I'm having difficulty with the extra noise and heat all the extra bodies bring and I'm finding it quite stressful working with people who I don't know. I was comfortable with my old group as they knew me and got used to me when I was fairly well. The new people tend to be a bit taken aback when I walk in with my oxygen and my pump and it's all a bit awkward. I've come home with a nagging headache the last two days and I'm sure that's down to a mixture of the stress and the noise. It doesn't help that I'm being bullied again. Hey ho, I don't know what it is the culprits hope to achieve by their actions but if their lives are so boring they have to try an make mine a misery then so be it. On the plus side leaving two hours earlier than normal means driving home in daylight, which has to be a bonus. It doesn't mean much now, except more time in front of the TV but come summer, provided we have a summer, I can see a couple of hours being spent in the garden with a good book.

Still everything takes a bit of getting used too and it would be unfair to moan without giving things a fair go. Things, as they are apt to do, will work themselves out in the end I'm sure. And when we are used to the new arrangement I'm sure we will get on fine.

The snow still lies thick around the village and more was falling as I drove home thins afternoon. Although the main roads are now clear of the stuff my road is a slushy mess that freezes overnight making getting out in the morning a bit of a trial. I have to say I am way past 'over it' now. I've had a few dodgy moments in the car park at work where I've almost slipped over and this is one thing that terrifies me. Not only will I be like a turtle on its back with the oxygen tank etc but I can't get the warning my consultant gave out of my head.About two years ago during the last really bad bout of snow I'd struggled in for an appointment and when I got there he gave me a dire warning. He related a tale of a PH patient who had slipped in the snow, punctured a lung and bled to death. If anything is going to make you watch your step in icy weather a tale like that will.

To cheer myself up I've been looking at possible holidays in warmer climates.

It is all pie in the sky at the moment of course as I can't get a 'fit to fly' letter. However I can dream and so far I've pencilled in Australia, thought that might be tad too hot right now, Cyprus, Rome and Hawaii. Two I've already visited and two I have not. The only competition is which one to go for first when I'm finally well again.

And so the tricky question of whether to stay put or leave raises it's head again. I've decided to grab the bull by the horns and have written off to find out how much retraining I'd need to return to teaching and at what cost. If I can do it as home study, there is nothing to stop me starting now in anticipation of a new life to come. I know I'm going to have a lot of time for study as I recover from transplant but it does no harm to make a tentative test of the water now. After all if I'm going to have to deal with playground bullies I may as well deal with the real thing and get paid a hell of a lot more for doing so.

Well I'm off to get a cuppa and relax. Last day tomorrow and then three glorious days off, can't wait.