Friday, 21 March 2014


Yesterday we did a bit more clearing out and came across a few things that brought back a wealth of memories.

The first thing I uncovered was a book of poems by John Donne. His poems was one of the set texts for my English O level, or was it my A level, I can't remember. Whichever one it was the book has survived all these years with my scribbled notes in the margins. I'm delighted with this find because a) it is difficult to track down such texts these days, b) it is in such good condition and c) I can still remember some of the poems, all my mind needed was a jog. I have now set the book aside to read again and maybe learn the poems afresh, filling in the appalling gaps I have.

The other thing I found was Laurence's baby book. I couldn't believe how lovely some of the photo's are. What particularly struck me about these pictures is how pink I look. I'm a total picture of health with ruby lips and nicely pinked up cheeks. A far cry from the dark blue or purple I sport these days. The only time I have pink lips now it courtesy of Mac Factor. It also shows that I've always been thin. No matter how much Papworth nag I have never been anything but skinny. Laurence is obviously only, at most, six months old and look at me, I'm a stick. I think I'll take these photos with me next time to prove a point. When I said I only ever hit nine stone when pregnant I meant it.

Yesterday afternoon we spent a rather disappointing day in Bletchley. The sun was out but the wind was strong and biting and even with a coat and hat on I felt cold. To top it all our trawl of the charity shops left me empty handed, while Peter took half their book stock away with him. Usually it's the other way around and he can't find anything he wants.

Arriving home we made hot chocolates to warm up and then in the evening we watched the film Topsy Turvy on DVD. It is all about how Gilbert and Sullivan came up with The Mikado and is absolutely brilliant. It is a very long film though and we ended up falling into bed after midnight.

Andrew will not be coming home this weekend as he has work on Sunday and lectures all day today, so it doesn't make any sense to come all the way home only to go back a few hours later. I will miss not seeing him but I'm glad he is earning as it takes the pressure off his grant, and us.

Today it is fifteen months since I was put on the transplant list. I've tried to distract myself but the thought keeps invading my mind, 'will it ever happen for me'? Stacie, bless her, has been waiting twenty three months but at least has had a couple of false alarms. Now I know false alarms are not nice, they must be heart breaking, but at least it is a confirmation that you are on the list and they are looking for a match. For me it's been nothing, zip, not a dickie bird. I know I keep asking every time I see them 'am I really on the list'? And every time the answer is 'yes' but it is hard not to get a bit paranoid when you haven't heard anything at all.

The days started with a trip to the warfarin clinic. Yes how lovely, like that's going to cheer me up. However it wasn't as bad as it could be as I walked through the doors to find I was the only one there. I was in and out in less than five minutes, Peter hadn't even had time to park. I just hope my INR lets me off of a good few weeks as I can't say I've missed going.

Today, to try and distract me, Peter and I are going to do the charity shops in Leighton Buzzard, in case you are wondering why this sudden fascination, I'm looking for a particular book in a series and have been for the last six months. From there we are going to have a potter around the antique shops in Woburn. We might even visit the Abbey and stroll, or in my case trike, around the grounds for an hour. Anything but sit at home and brood. I'm taking my camera as nothing takes my mind off things quite like photography.

Well better get myself into the kitchen. Yes complicated cooking, another distraction technique.