Mixed Messages

Literally everyone I know, barring one pregnant lady, is on a diet while I'm still blissfully tucking into bacon sandwiches and Lindt chocolates. After weeks of adverts telling us to eat this, that and the other, the ads are now full of dieting aids. Likewise the weekend papers are full of recipes guaranteed to reduce the intake of fat, sugar, carbohydrates etc, etc. Most of them scream 'lose 2/4/6/8 pounds per week on this fabulous tasty diet', well here's an idea, how about eating less and moving more?

Dieting aids such as soups, shakes or ready meals are notoriously expensive, mainly because they have the word 'diet' in them. Why not just eat less of your ordinary meals and eat fruit instead of chocolate? Seems simple to me and a lot cheaper. Looking at the recipes in the papers I don't wonder why most diets are abandoned within a month. The recipes all contain ingredients that you'd be hard pressed to find and take an enormous amount of time and effort, and again, expense to make.

One very, very sensible friend swears by just one thing when she wants to lose weight, soup. She makes up a batch of soup usually enough for a week and freezes it into portions. This soup is not a 'diet' soup, indeed it is usually made up of anything left over from the week before. At the moment it is turkey and ham with veg, and she has a bowl of this soup with bread for lunch every day. Of course she cuts out snacks, unless it is fruit, and has a normal dinner with the kids in the evening. It cost her nothing, works like a charm and takes up only about an hour of her time at the weekend. How simple is that?

Of course, while we are all being encouraged to lose weight and spend a lot of money doing it, we are also being bombarded by Easter egg adverts.

Aberystwyth during the storm. Picture taken by Phil Griffiths

We are not out of the first week of January yet and apparently we have to rush out and buy Cadbury's creme eggs because 'when their gone, their gone'.  How cynical is that exactly? Of course they are not going to run out. Usually you can get creme eggs well into the summer so hinting that they are extremely limited is rather dishonest don't you think? I remember when you didn't see an Easter egg until March and I have to wonder who on earth buys Easter eggs this early anyway. Don't they go off?

We are taking our Christmas tree down today. Out of everyone we know we are probably the last to do so and that is more from laziness than festive spirit.

Everyone I know feels that Christmas this year did not have a 'special' feel to it. Maybe it was the bad weather, maybe it's because of all the repeats on TV, maybe it's because I was working. Yes all those things make an impact but I think the biggest factor in losing that Christmassy feeling is that it all starts so early.

From September the mince pies, crackers and turkeys arrive in the shops, most with best before dates in November. Thus ensuring that if you did decide to buy early you'd have to go out and by the thing again closer to the date because the original purchase has gone off. January sales start before Christmas and you are constantly told 'Christmas would not be complete without ...'  Now Easter is also being destroyed. Where did it all go wrong?

The same view minus the water.

Right enough of the rant, back to my original point. I'm also on a diet, one to put more weight on and at last it appears to be working. I now weight 8st 1lb 8oz, that's exactly a stone heavier than I was this time last year. I've put on about three pounds since I last saw Papworth and with only two weeks to go before I see them again I stand a good chance of keeping it on. Hopefully they will be happier with me but I'm sure not quiet satisfied yet as my target weight is eight and a half stone.

On Tuesday I'm off to the Brompton to have my line checked, it is two and a half years since I had it put in and they want to check it's condition. I'm also having a full MOT to ensure I'm still fit for transplant and, with a bit of luck, I'll get my new drug. If you remember that was a bit up in the air just before Christmas when an administrative document had yet to be signed to allow me to have it. I haven't heard anything since so I'm assuming this is going to go down to the wire and I'll only know if I'm getting it when I arrive.

Of course I'm really looking forward to the freedom the new drug will afford me but at the same time I don't want it to make me terribly sick and cause me to lose weight again. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

The storm has taken it's toll on my poor home town of Aberystwyth and I've included a 'during' and 'before' picture of more or less the same stretch of prom. I would like to thank Phil Griffiths for the use of his picture in today's blog. If anyone from Aberystwyth has any pictures of the damage that they'd be willing to let me include in my next blog please let me know. I thank you in advance.

Today I'm copping out on the cooking and using a shop bought sauce to make a pasta bake for lunch. I'm feeling a little tired, even though I slept well, and just can't be bothered with the effort. To be fair I have been cooking solidly for almost two weeks now so a I feel I deserve a little break.

This afternoon I shall settle down and watch a really awful film while nibbling my way through the remainder of the mince pies and cheese. Well a girl has to keep her strength up.

Challenging Times

2014 seems to be taking up where 2013 left off and I'm busy, busy, busy.

Work, as can be expected over the holiday period has been a bit frantic and I can't even relax much at home. Thankfully today is going to be a 'do nothing' day so I can recharge my batteries a bit before next week's onslaught.

I spent Monday to Friday in work and made the mistake of staying up to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve. This meant I got a maximum of four and  half hours sleep before heading into work. Surprisingly I felt fine and it was only late in the afternoon I began to feel a bit weary. Of course I couldn't go to bed early the following night because the programme I'd waited all year to see was on. Sherlock and the explanation about his death. Not that there was much of an explanation, we still don't really know how he did it. So Thursday I was shattered and more or less floated through the working day in a sleepy haze.

Thank God for Friday, or so I thought. At least it was eight when I woke up and not six but from there it was non stop. After I'd showered and read the papers we headed to Tesco's. I haven't done any shopping for a fortnight so was desperate for fresh fruit and vegetables and very little else. As usual I bought too much food for the Christmas period, we haven't even opened the Quality Street yet,  so we don't actually need anything else. The shop was manic, much worse than before Christmas, and we were glad we didn't have to get much. It was home for lunch and then off we went to Rushden.

For Christmas we'd bought Laurence one of those fake flame fires. The old fire place in his house had remained bare and empty since he moved in around two years ago. We've often talked about putting dried flowers or some sort of ornament in there just to fill the gap but nothing seemed to fit. We were a bit surprised and delighted when Laurence mentioned wanting a fire so we rushed out and got one. Of course the gift didn't come by itself and included fitting and the earliest date we could all manage was yesterday.

As usual I sat on the settee and watched as the wall was measured, drilled, spirit leveled, drilled again and finally the fire was hung. It still didn't look quiet right but that's probably because it is the only thing in the entire house that is straight and level. Being a Victoria terrace, and Victorian builders not being too bothered with straight lines, the walls are a bit wonky, as we found when Laurence moved in and we tried to put shelves up.

From Rushden it was on to Milton Keynes to pick up a few bits and pieces and then home. I changed into my old joggers and t shirt and sank onto the settee where I stayed until bedtime.

Today I woke up to a wet, windy but surprisingly mild morning. I wandered downstairs and made some tea and as Peter was still asleep turned on the news to see if there was any update on Michael Schumacher after his dreadful skiing accident. There wasn't but instead there were pictures of Aberystwyth, my home town, and the damage Friday's storm had caused. I stared with my mouth open. The prom is almost completely destroyed. The mosaic tiles are covered in sand, the metal railings are bent and twisted, ripped from their housings and great slabs of concrete and paving stones litter the road we drove along only a few months ago. In some places there is very little prom left to walk along. I have never seen such damage done by any storm, and believe me I've seen a few. On the plus side my family and friends all appear to be safe.

Here in the Bedfordshire triangle we seem to have escaped the worst of it yet again. I don't know what it is with living here but complete mayhem can be going on all around us and we get the odd tree or fence panel down. How weird is that?

The 365 challenge is going well, though as it is only the fourth day of the year it would be pretty poor if I'd already messed things up. This is going to be more challenging than I thought though, at least until I start driving too or from work in daylight. How can I put this? Subject matter is a little bit, umm, limited. Doing the challenge is going to be really easy in good weather, when I'm out and about. Even just sitting in the garden I can find something to take a picture of but in the dark or at work, well there isn't much to photograph to be honest. I've also found I need a phone with a better camera or I need to take my Nikon everywhere with me. Again easier to do out of work than in. So at the moment there is a fuzzy photo of my lunch in my locker and my mug.Things will get better I promise.

My 2013 Review

With only a few days left to the new year I am looking forward to starting 2014 with a fresh outlook.

2013 was a rollercoaster year for me. I'm not saying it was as bad as 2012, when I was going through all the transplant assessment etc, but still not a great year.

Sleepy cuddles with Tarmac

The big sadness fortunately came late with the death of my beloved Tarmac. Even now I have tears and that horrible tugging on my heart on days when I really miss him. Sitting on my own when everyone is out and he's not on my lap. Having a lie in and him lying close to me and not minding that I'm hugging him like a teddy bear. Not having him try and dig me out of bed for breakfast and most of all feeling poorly and not having him to lie beside me and keep me company. Smirnoff does his best but, as much as I love him, he is not my soft, rather dim, cuddly Tarmac.

There were up and downs with my health. As is the way with PH there is never a smooth ride and I've had more than my fair share of downs this year. Fortunately nothing that requires weeks on end off work. I think the most I had off was two weeks, so that is good, but it's been small niggles. I've had a lot of sore throats and sinus problems. And my breathing has deteriorated, as has my ability to walk around Tesco's. I'm far more dependent on my oxygen now. I'm sincerely hoping all this will improve in 2014.

Picking up my new car

Then there is my working life. The main problem is finally being dealt with. I know some of you are thinking that it took me long enough to do anything but I am a slow burner. I will take and take and take until finally I snap and when I do finally spring into action I see it through. Also in work there has been the constant upheaval of changing shifts, overtime and people being dragged in on their days off. In fairness none of this affects me as I'm currently on fixed hours and exempt from overtime but it is effecting everyone else and listening to things like parties, attendance at weddings and holidays being canceled make me feel enormously guilty that I'm unable to do my bit. Also in work I became totally stressed out when I was accidentally declared 'fit for full duties'. Fortunately this has now been sorted out so I can go into the new year with one less thing to worry about.

And finally the death of Anne Rea shook everyone to the core and made me rethink my desire for a transplant. Going to her funeral was both the saddest and most uplifting day of the year. Anne will be sorely missed for a long time to come.

Of course there have been some up's as well. The big one was seeing my Australian cousin, Jenny, for the first time in twenty years, and her family. Although it was only three nights we packed a lot of catching up in. We've tentatively set a date for me to visit her in 2016, hopefully by then I will be as fit as a fiddle and allowed to fly.

Laurence, James, Andrew and in front Luke

The other big highlight was my trip to Canterbury. Yes it was brief, cold and raining most of the time. Yes our sleep was disturbed by German kids running riot in the corridors. And yes they did stick me on the first floor without a lift and at the furthest end of a very long corridor BUT I loved every minute of it. I was immensely frustrated that I couldn't get up and walk around but my trike proved a God send, even if I did end up with black knees.

Also enjoyable was my trip to Aberystwyth. Again it was very brief but we managed to do everything we'd hoped to do. We sat in the car with the windows open in the evening eating curry sauce and chips. We, well Peter, walked the length of the prom at least twice. I, meanwhile, struggled with the tricky task of controlling my trike while eating an enormous ice cream and we laughed and giggled like a couple of teenagers. And we drove around the forest paths admiring the sheer beauty and wildness of the Welsh mountains.

Then there was the meal out with my brother and his family. How we enjoyed that night, I really hope we can meet up again very soon.

Ceiling of the Chapter House Canterbury Cathedral

There were other things as well, days out, time spent with the boys, and meals out, not always posh, a couple of burger vans come to mind, but I've enjoyed it all. And of course getting my new car.

I've so much to be grateful for this year but what do I hope for in 2014?

Well the obvious one is getting that much longed for transplant. Despite the efforts of the BBC, and Holby City, to scupper donation, more people are now on the donation list than ever before and the numbers are still growing. There has been talk of changing the system to an opt out one rather than an opt in. The human race is notoriously lazy, filled with good intentions but not actually putting them in to practice. By changing the system all those people who would like to donate but never quite get round to doing so won't have to bother.

In the absence of a transplant one thing is sure and that is my change of meds early this year. It was going to happen early January but that maybe in doubt now due to an administrative hitch. However it will come and end of January/early February is most likely. The new meds will be easier to prepare and will take me about an hour once a week rather than an hour every night. This will open up a whole new world to me and I'm looking forward to going to the theatre again.

The wild beauty of Wales

I'm also already planning our next holiday. We will be going down to Wales again, this time for a longer stay. And we are hopeful of making it to Edinburgh to see my brother, though that might be a bit far afield, we will have to see. We are going to go somewhere and do something though. I've decided it is no good hanging around and waiting 'until I get better'. I would be wasting years of my life doing that and there is always the possibility of never getting better. May as well grab the bull by the horns and just do it.

I have made two challenges to myself for 2014.

The first I've mentioned before. I'm fed up of sitting in front of the TV. It is destroying my brain and I've become far too addicted to soaps. So I've bought myself some artists materials and am going to try and revive my love of painting. I used to be rather good. I sold a few pieces and exhibited my work quiet often. I specialised in landscapes, buildings and the occasional portrait. Of course the combination of age and medication means my hands are not as steady as they once were and my eyesight is not so sharp but you never know. Expect to see pictures of my various attempts appearing on this blog.

Which leads nicely onto my next challenge.

Smirnoff

I'm going to do the 365 challenge. This involves taking a picture every single day for a whole year. You can, of course, take more than one picture a day my you have to take at least one. I've enjoyed getting back into my photography this year and I'm hoping to take pictures of landscapes etc that I can then paint. Two birds, one stone.

So with the photography, painting, holidays and theatre trips I won't have time to dwell on when I will get my transplant and that, I suppose, is the whole point.

So all that is left for me to do is to wish you a very Happy New Year and I hope everyone has a better 2014, especially those waiting with me for transplant.

Our Christmas Day

Yesterday was the official Roberts Christmas day and a good time was had by all.

Yes we finally got to sit down, eat our turkey dinner, drink a little wine and exchange gifts. Although only two days after the actual day it felt like we'd waited ages.

Unable to get a fresh turkey from our local farm this year I bought a turkey crown instead. To be honest a whole turkey is always too big for the four of us, even with the vultures I've raised, so a crown would hopefully cut down on waste. I have to say it was the best decision I've ever made. The meat was delicious and really moist and carving it couldn't be easier. The was still plenty left over and because it is all white meat, no one will eat the dark meat, it will soon be gobbled up in sandwiches. I for one love a turkey sandwich with Branston pickle or sliced, pickled beetroot, so my lunches for work are sorted for next week. Laurence also took a good few slices for his work sandwiches too.

We started with a hot cheesy dip and finished with my beautifully smooth and creamy sherry truffle cup, recipe below. Then after clearing up, and I was helped by everyone, we sat in front of the TV and watched a film whilst sipping coffee and then it was the big gift exchange. I'm easy to buy for, anything from Lush or L'Occitane makes my day, as do chocolates, and I was in luck this year as I got something of all three catagories. I also got series one and two of Sherlock, which was a bit of a surprise but very welcome. I've now just got to find time to watch them before series three starts on New Year's Day.

I was also given a lot of travel stuff, miniature bottles of shower gel, hand cream etc. And a cook book for my slow cooker. At the moment I only use it for making cawl so this was a really welcome gift and everyone will benefit as I try out the recipes. The small stuff was given in anticipation of my transplant as I always prefer to take small bottles into hospital with me as they take up less room and I don't feel so aggrieved if I leave a bottle in the shower and it gets stolen.

Today I've hit the sales, well figuratively speaking, I've gone onto the Lush and L'Occitane websites and bought some of the Christmas stuff they are selling off cheaply for about a third of the cost it would normally be. So I am a very happy bunny indeed. And I won't need to buy any bath stuff for at least six months. What's not to like? I've also bought some artist's materials so I can start getting back into my painting.

This afternoon I'm going to sit with my feet up in front of the TV and sample my chocolates. After yesterday's massive cookathon I think I deserve a rest.

Creamy Sherry Truffle Cups

250ml double cream
4 medium egg yolks whisked
5 tablespoons - 75ml strong black coffee
5 tablespoons - 75ml sweet sherry
150g dark chocolate (70% cocoa)
90g milk chocolate
whipping cream
6 martini glasses

In a non stick pan bring cream to the boil and remove from heat. Whisk gradually into the egg yolks. DO NOT add cream all at once or you will end up with scrambled egg. Add the coffee and the sherry then cover and allow to cool.

Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of boiling water and whisk into the custard half at a time. Divide mixture between the glasses and place in fridge, preferably overnight, to set. Decorate with whipping cream and grated chocolate. Serve with Amaretto biscuits Enjoy.

Right back in the kitchen I go but at least it means I get to use up the left over mash and veg. Today's offering honey glazed ham with bubble and squeak.

Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time

While I've got a few minutes between putting the turkey in the oven and preparing the veg so I thought I'd just do a quick blog update.

Yes today is actually going to be our Christmas dinner day as it is only one of two days during the Christmas period when we can all be together.

Thankfully, though some would say unhappily, my virus or whatever, rapidly improved during the week and so I was able to go to work and not have anyone cover for me. That meant, however, I spent Christmas Eve, Christmas day and Boxing day in work and to be honest it wasn't the entirely depressing time I'd imagined.

I'd barely got through the door at quarter to eight, on Christmas day, when I had a bucks fizz and a chocolate biscuit thrust into my hand. We were allowed out of uniform so everyone wore colourful Christmas jumpers and a variety of head boppers were on display. Every now and then someone would burst into song and the general atmosphere was happy and fun.

While we got on with the business of the day, much reduced I'm pleased to say, one of our supervisors was busy in the kitchen cooking us turkey with all the trimmings. I nearly fainted when I saw how much was on the plate but it was delicious so I tried my best. Unfortunately my best still left most of the meal on the plate.

The day actually went a lot quicker than I thought it would and I arrived home in time to catch the Christmas Strictly. I don't actually like the Christmas Strictly, it lacks the build up of the series and if one of the celebrities has been given a dance that doesn't suit them then there is no chance of a come back but being a true fan I couldn't not watch it.

After Strictly we sat down to an evening meal of home made meatloaf and barbecue sauce, recipe later in this blog. We shared a bottle of wine and I eventually fell into bed around ten after watching our favourite Christmas film Love Actually.

Boxing day was much the same work wise, though we all contributed to a buffet instead of having a full meal. I arrived home to a cup of tea and was swiftly followed through the door by Laurence who also worked over Christmas. We enjoyed a simple meal of spaghetti with tomato sauce and then settled down for an evening in front of the TV demolishing chocolates, biscuits and nuts.

We watched the new Open All Hours, which was very good but lacked something with the absence of Ronnie Barker. We then watched and joined in with The Big Fat Quiz of the Year on channel four. Andrew and Laurence formed one team and Peter and I the other. We won by two points, yay!

I was up around eight this morning to dress the turkey, which is now filling the house with a lovely aroma, and driving Smirnoff potty. The veg are all ready to go, as is the gravy, stuffing and bacon and sausages. I have skipped breakfast as I'm really hoping to do it justice. My eating has really gone well this week and, I haven't weighed myself yet, I'm sure I've put on a few pounds. With a bit of luck I'll have added that extra half a stone and reached my target. I'll let you know when I've plucked up courage to step on the scales.

Meatloaf with barbecue sauce

2 medium onions, finely chopped
1 clove garlic crushed
1lb 8oz mincemeat
8oz sausagemeat
4oz tomato puree
black pepper
salt
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon Worcester sauce

Saute the onions and garlic in about 1oz (25g) butter until soft and translucent. DO NOT BROWN. Please in a bowl and allow to cool  for about 20 minutes. Add all the other ingredients with a pinch of salt and about one teaspoon of black pepper. Using your hands kneed ingredients until thoroughly combined. Transfer to a 2lb loaf tin making sure there is no air trapped. Smooth top with a palete knife until level and mixture is well packed down (if you don't do this the loaf will not slice but will fall apart). Place loaf tin on a baking tray and cook at 180 fan or 200 conventional for 45 mins - 1 hour. Lift baking tray out of oven carefully as there will be a lot of fat. Drain fat and allow loaf to stand for 5 minutes before tipping out of tin.

For the sauce
1 400g (14oz) tin chopped tomatoes
1 tablespoon cornflower
3 tablespoons malt vinegar
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon tomato puree
1 teaspoon Worcester sauce
1 pinch cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon sugar
pinch of salt and pinch of black pepper

Place all ingredients into a non stick saucepan and heat gently while stirring until sauce begins to bubble. Take off heat and stir for a further minute to prevent sauce burning on the bottom of the pan.

Serve both with veg of choice and a good dollop of mashed potato.

Right got to go, I've just been given another bucks fizz and it's time to baste the bird.

So Here It Is Merry Christmas....

The weather has been dire this weekend, very wet and very windy and it doesn't look like it is giving up anytime soon. So what better thing can you do except snuggle up on the settee with a purry, furry and watch the Strictly final. More on that later.

I finally started to feel a bit festive yesterday. I watched White Christmas while wrapping presents and then listened to Roy Wood singing 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day'. That song is my all time favourite Christmas song and guaranteed to get me in the mood no matter what.

I kept my word and, apart from cooking lunch, spent the whole day resting and I must say I feel better for it this morning. I still have a slightly dodgy throat and I still have my cough, I don't think I'm ever going to be free of that, but on the whole I'm feeling better. So I'm looking towards, I won't say forward because it just wouldn't be true, to a very busy festive week in work. I've drawn the short straw and am working right through Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day but come Friday I'm off and we will all be together. Then we will lock the doors and windows and have our own private Christmas celebration. That is what I'm really looking forward too, and that is what I will be focusing on to get me through this week.

Today I have something else to look forward too. Jenny and her family are stopping overnight on their way back to London. This time we will be taking photographs, which will be displayed here sometime next weekend. I still cannot believe we didn't take any last time we were together. This time I've been told to sit still and take things easy as they will cook for me. I'm still making a blackberry and apple crumble though, as they so liked it last time.

So this afternoon there will be a little flurry of activity as we remove the wrapping paper and sellotape from the dining table and Hoover up the glitter that seems to get everywhere without any help from us. Fortunately we've managed to restrain our 'dumping everything on the coffee table' habit and everywhere is still neat and tidy.

In the news I read two stories today, one made me feel really happy, the other angered me.

First off the exciting news that in France they have managed to implant the first totally artificial heart. The device weighs about three times that of a real heart and should keep the patient going for at least five years. The operation was carried out earlier this week and initial signs are good. This is potentially good news for those waiting for heart transplants. If this technique works it could be used to keep a patient alive, with a reasonable quality of life, until a suitable heart can be found. It could, with future refinements become an alternative to heart transplant for some patients. I am constantly amazed at these medical advancements, maybe one day a similar device will be invented for those of us in need of new lungs. Anything, it seems, is possible.

The piece of news that made me angry was a piece written in the Daily Mail. This piece is an interview with drug mule Melissa Reid's parents. In it they moan and whine about how unfairly their daughter has been treated. They complain that she will miss 'the best years of her life' in jail despite the fact that she will only be twenty seven when she gets out. Apparently their daughter's predicament is everyone's fault except her own. I would argue that if that's the way Melissa has been brought up to think then no wonder she is in the mess she is now.

Let's look at the facts. Melissa and her now friend, then stranger, Michaella McCollum Connolly, were caught trying to smuggle eleven kilos of cocaine out of Peru. When caught they cooked up an elaborate story about being kidnapped, drugged and threatened by a gang, none of which either girl could name or describe any members of. They said they were scared, didn't have a choice and didn't know what to do. Well of course they had a choice. They could have gone to the authorities at any point and said 'look I'm being forced to smuggle this stuff, please help me', but they didn't. Instead they went through with it because they thought it would be easy money, I think each one was promised £22,000 for packing the stuff, inexpertly, into their suitcases.

I suspect both girls could see only pound signs and were convinced that two young, reasonably attractive, giggly girls wouldn't attract any attention and they'd sail through customs without blinking an eye. Goodness knows how they were caught but something gave them away. Maybe there had been a tip off, maybe they had boasted to someone about what they were doing, neither strikes me as very bright, or maybe they were just a little too loud and giggly. How they were caught really doesn't matter but the facts are that they thought they'd get away with it and then lied about it.

If I were Melissa's mother, yes, I'd be bloody furious, but not with the sentence, the judge, or the officers that caught her. I would be directing all my anger at Melissa and asking her how she could be so bloody stupid. Her father thinks 'the sentence is too harsh and doesn’t sit with the crime. They’re first-time offenders and they didn’t instigate it.' No but they went along with it didn't they. Personally, if I were him, I'd be offering up a prayer of thanks that they didn't get given the full fifteen years Peru normally hands out for this sort of crime. Six years, with some of it possibly spent back in Britain, isn't that harsh considering what they've done. They would probably got the same or even worse in Britain.

And let's just say that they had got away with it. Would they have gone back and done it again? I'm willing to bet they would. I'm also willing to bet they would have gone on doing it as long as they didn't get caught. Sometimes you have no one to blame but yourself. Melissa and her parents would be wise to learn that lesson, preferably before she's released to do something else equally as stupid.

Strictly Watch

Well here we are with the last 'watch' of the series. Hasn't it gone quickly?

To be honest I wasn't really looking forward to an all girl final and in some ways my fears were realised. The show lost a bit of 'umph' that the male celebrities are able to give. There were plenty of lifts but they all felt rather safe. Even Suzanna and Kevin's neck breaking twirl came across as a little flat. I had to agree with Darcy, it just didn't have the 'wow' factor. On the other end of the scale Natalie's show dance was all a little too frenetic, they threw everything in and came across just that little bit desperate. Sophie and Abbey just did what they did best. They looked pretty and elegant and danced like dreams but again the 'wow' was missing.

Maybe I've been spoiled by the acrobatics of Lewis Smith or the sheer joy and style of Chris Hollins, his Charleston was even better than Sophie's, but the show definitely lacked 'something'.

Talking of which, I was surprised and bitterly disappointed that Sophie was voted off first and didn't get to dance her Charleston again. That was the one dance I really wanted to see. I was also looking forward to seeing Hairy Dave 'Dance Like Jagger' and Mark do his 'MC Hammer' but this year they just had a few seconds each in a group dance. Again, very disappointed.

Away from the dancing Bruce was having a whale of a time and at one point I thought he was going to give himself a heart attack. He decided to show the TV audience how busy he was during the show and demonstrated this by running up and down a flight of stairs several times. He must be remarkable fit for his age but I listened to the news this morning with some trepidation I must say. However he survived and made the most of his last chance to fondle Tess Daly's leg before flying off somewhere warm for the winter. I know he annoys a lot of people but I do hope he returns again next year.

Tess surprised us all by wearing something rather tasteful in the first show. She was back on form in the second show though, wearing a scrunched up, empty chocolate box. At one point she seemed to be in competition with Abbey as to how much she could toss her hair around. For goodness shake, why not have it styled so it doesn't fall in your eyes?

So the big moment came and all I could do was pray, 'not Natalie, not Natalie' and my prayer came true. Abbey is the new Strictly champion and, out of all of the finalists, probably the most deserving. Abbey, unlike Sophie and Natalie, had never danced a step in her life. I'm not sure if Suzanna had, I think I remember reading she'd had some training.  Anyway, out of all of them Abbey was the one who'd come into it without a clue and because of that reason alone, I think she was a worthy winner.

As I am working now until Friday. I'd like to take this opportunity of wishing all my readers a very happy and healthy Christmas. Take care and stay safe. Next blog Saturday.

One Year On

It is exactly one year to the day that I was put on the transplant list.

I remember Peter, Andrew and myself jumping up and down as though we'd won the lottery. Of course the news came after a really terrible year of disappointment and jumping through painless hoops. It was as though Christmas had come early and I did nothing but grin for a week. I said at the time just getting on the list would be enough, it meant I still had hope, it meant there was a chance I'd beat PH and go on to live well into retirement. Foolishly I was convinced I was going to get 'the call' within days, or at most weeks, of going on the list. However as the weeks and months rolled past reality hit and I knew I was going to be in for a long wait but I still hadn't reckoned on hitting the one year marker.

During my wait I watched and waited while several of my friends went in for transplant. Some out comes were bad, poor Anne, some were false alarms, how Stacie coped with being sent home twice I will never know, and others, the majority, were roaring successes. Out of all of them the only person I can say, hand on heart, that I didn't feel a twinge of jealousy about was Kath. Yes there was a moment when I thought, 'why not me' but the overwhelming feeling was joy that Kath's two and a half year wait was over. Her transplant gave me renewed hope that sometimes the wait may be long but the end results are well worth it.

Of course none of this should overshadow the stark fact that more people die waiting for transplant than get them. Dan Male is a case in point, he waited so long that he eventually became too ill for transplant and died. I know, it sounds crazy doesn't it, that you can be 'too ill' for a transplant. In truth though it happens more often than anyone can imagine. Yes the focus is always on the part or parts of the body that need replacing but in truth the whole body is effected. For PH patients the lack of oxygen in the blood can cause damage to the brain, kidneys, liver etc, etc. And don't forget the drugs we take are toxic and are slowly poisoning us as they ease our symptoms. Most of us need regular blood tests to check our kidneys and livers are still working properly. Once your kidneys or liver starts to pack up, that's the end of any transplant hopes.

I am constantly urged to stop working, look after myself etc. Well I know all those making these comments have my best interests at heart but no matter how well meant they may be no one truly understands why I still insist in working.

There are two reasons. One is to remain as fit as I possibly can, for as long as I possibly can. My muscles are under attack from oxygen deprivation and lack of use. When, if, transplant come the better shape they are in the quicker I'll recover and get back on my feet. Even the short walk from car to desk will help keep my legs in shape. Sitting at a desk for eight hours a day helps with my core muscles. Writing and typing keep my hands and arms going. It's small steps in the big scheme of things but when I'm praised at the transplant clinic for keeping so 'generally fit' for 'someone as ill as you are', then it is all worth it.

The second reason is for my emotional and intellectual state. I like to keep my brain busy, staying at home and having nothing to think about other than my own situation or whether 'Kyle has slept with Kate and will Georgia find out' is not exactly the intellectual stimulation I need. I also know that I'd become very inward looking and depressed if I were cooped up at home. At work I get to gossip and laugh and feel I'm a useful part of a team. Listening to people moaning all day may not be everyone's idea of an uplifting day but most of the time it makes me glad for the life I have. There are some situations I wouldn't be in for the world.

So today I will probably spend some time having a little bit of a 'poor me' moment and a little cry but I will get back on the horse and hope that 2014 will be an easier ride than 2013 was.

So now I've got all that off my chest how am I feeling, well a lot better is the answer. I've had more bloods taken but I don't think they will show anything as things have improved dramatically over the last day or so. The little blisters or spots have gone and my mouth is still red but not dark red. The soreness has gone, more or less, sharp food, such as oranges, still makes me wince but on the whole it's back to normal. Thankfully my breathing has improved significantly overnight. My chest was declared clear again yesterday, which is supported by the fact that I'm not bringing any gunk up so it was suggested that my throat may have irritated my asthma. I was advised to continue with the meds I already have and to increase my asthma meds for the next week. Twenty four hours on my breathing has improved, so at least I know what was causing that. I've been given extra antibiotics in case things flair up during the holiday period but it looks like I will be well from Christmas, thank goodness.

Yesterday I went shopping, or at least Andrew and Peter did the shopping. I was wheeled around pointing out things we needed and grunting occasionally. We were in and out in under an hour and anything we haven't got now, we can do without. I spent the rest of the day resting, which is exactly what I intend to do today and again tomorrow. Looking at the weather I'm so glad I don't have to go anywhere.

Did I mention it's the Strictly final tonight? So excited! Who do I think will win? Well I'm backing Suzanna but I think it will be Abbey. Next blog, tomorrow.