Only A Game?

It has been a very sad day at work, we lost a colleague to cancer. I didn't know him all that well but I work with those who do and I could feel their distress. News like this certainly puts the day to day pettiness we deal with into focus. I think it would be fair to say that today some callers were dealt with a little more robustly than usual.

On the whole I have been coping with my extended day pretty well but oh dear was I tired coming home today. I have one more day to get through and then I have four days off, can't wait.

I arrived home to an empty house as Andrew is starting his First Responder training this evening and Peter had to drive him to the venue. It was too far away to come back home and then go out and collect Andrew so Peter is staying with Andrew until the session ends. I am anxiously watching the weather because it is snowing quite hard at the moment. I don't think there is going to be a problem but if it gets any heavier there might be.

So what did I do with this new found freedom? Well after eating and making up my drugs I did exactly the same as I do every night after a day at work, I flopped in front of the TV.

The news is full of the resignation of Fabio Cappello and from the coverage you'd have thought the Queen had died. I am bemused at the fuss this event has caused. It dominates every news bulletin and fills every newspaper, why? OK I appreciate that for football fans this might be a big deal but it is hardly an earth shattering event. Is it equal to 9/11  for instance? No of course not but you wouldn't think so if you turned on the news. It has even pushed the crisis in Syria to the sidelines and personally I think what is going on there is much more important than some Italian throwing in the towel. No doubt there will be people out there who really believe it is the end of the world. Hopefully not many.

We are out and about this weekend. We have to take Andrew to complete his First Responder training so are taking the opportunity to explore somewhere we wouldn't normally visit to go shopping. I just hope it isn't going to be too cold.

At Last...

Well I finally got the call I've been waiting for and it is good news. My antibodies have increased, I have 49% antibodies which in simple terms roughly means that out of one hundred donors I'll won't be able to match with forty nine of them. However that means I WILL be able to match with fifty one so I still have a greater than fifty fifty chance, which is good enough odds for me. I still need to have some more tests repeated, which I'm getting an appointment through the post for, but I'm still all good to go. Brilliant! I will hopefully sleep like a baby tonight for a change.

My first day back at work went well. Although it was eight hours I didn't feel all that tired driving home. It was only when I sat down with a cuppa that I began to flag then I got the phone call and boom I was wide awake again. I wish I'd been this bright and breezy at six this morning. It was so damned hard to get out of bed. A quick look outside nearly sent me scurrying back under the covers as it was freezing and foggy, whoop de doo my two favourite things. It started to snow on the drive in but had stopped again by the time I arrived. I'd gone wrapped up like Nanook of the north only to find the heating was going full blast. I ended up in my shirt sleeves and fanning myself with anything suitable that came to hand. No wonder everyone has colds, its so unhealthy. At least two of my colleagues looked like death warmed up and were snuffling and sneezing everywhere. I made a concerted effort to avoid them at all costs as I really do not want to go down with anything else. We did get a piece of good news today and that is that there is another baby on the way. I got to see the scan picture, oh so cute, and mum is looking well if a bit tired. I'll be sad to see my colleague leave but am very happy for her reason, and she has chosen the right time of year so she'll have most of the summer off.

I'm on late starts for the rest of the week, starting at ten but finishing at six, which is a bit of a pain but has to be done. At least I get a small lie in and that is always good news. I hate rushing around in the mornings, being able to take my time and relax really makes a difference to the rest of the day.

Well better ring my mum with the good news and then a celebratory tea.

Long To Reign Over Us...

Wales won! Still cannot believe it but am delighted at the result and what a brilliant match, real edge of the seat stuff. Can't wait for the next match now.

Spent yet another day waiting for the phone call from Harefield that never came. I'm back at work tomorrow so they won't be able to get hold of me until next Monday now. Obviously Peter is at home but I doubt they will tell him anything and I don't want them to ring work because it is not going to be the sort of conversation you can have in front of work colleagues, especially if it is bad news. I think it is very bad that they are keeping me dangling like this. How am I supposed to build up a close, trusting relationship with the team if they can't even phone me when they say they will? I think that is the trouble with the medical profession. They make decisions that affect peoples lives every day and I think they forget that there is a human being in the middle of it all waiting on that decision.

The snow is still with us but is now a curious mixture of slush and rock hard ice. Thankfully nothing fell overnight so roads that were cleared yesterday remained so even if they are a bit icy. It rained for a while this afternoon so more snow was washed away and now the temperature is falling so it looks like more ice for my early morning drive into work tomorrow. Terrific!

Watched the moronic boy from across the road this morning trying to crash his car. Well I assume that was what he was trying to do. He drove at speed along the road then slammed on his brakes and let the car slid along on the ice and snow until it came to rest against a kerb, then he'd back up and do it all again. What got me was the fact that there were several cars parked along the road that he could have easily slid into, thankfully he missed them all and after about ten minutes grew tired of his game and sped off. I can only hope that no one meets him on an icy road in the middle of nowhere because I can guarantee when he does eventually crash, as he is bound to do, he will walk away without a scratch and the other person won't.

Today is the sixtieth anniversary of the Queen's accession to the throne. Sixty years doing the same job and with no prospect of retirement. I wouldn't want to do it. I had to explain to Andrew last night the difference between the accession and the coronation. He thought that they were the same thing. I guess a lot of people think that and until the Queen dies few will experience the difference. It was eighteen months before the Queen was officially crowned, to allow a decent period of mourning for the old King and for all the arrangements to be made. I suspect they might hurry that up a bit for Prince Charles. As he's already in his sixties if they leave it too long he might never get crowned. And so we enter a period of celebration, not that you'd notice as so far it has been pretty low key. The real celebrations will get going in early summer, just before the Olympics, lets hope they are not overshadowed by the games that nobody wants or can afford.

The cats are still blaming me for the cold snap and have taken to following me around the house howling, which is very annoying.

Andrew came home from school mightily miffed that not only was the school open in such bad weather but  he was given a load of homework to do. University life is going to come as such a shocker and employment even more so. Bless!

Winter Wonderland

Well they said it would snow and my God did it. Woke up to a winter wonderland this morning and loved it.

Yesterday was cold but beautifully bright so I took the opportunity to refill the bird feeders in preparation for the predicted snow. Andrew and Peter decided to fix the puncture Andrew had on the back of his bike but further inspection showed the tyre needed replacing as it had a whacking big nail stuck in the side wall. So the wheel was slung into the back of the car and off they went leaving me to my own devices for an hour or so. I used the time to do a few bits and pieces around the house that I'm not really allowed to do, polishing, dusting, and then trawled through my recipe books looking for a really nice chicken casserole to make.

The afternoon was spent watching the clouds come over, white and heavy, and looking out for the first few tell tale flakes of snow. We'd been promised up to ten centimeters but exactly where and when it would fall was a bit vague. By the time it got dark there still wasn't any sign and I felt a bit disappointed, as long as  everyone is home and safe I quite like a bit of snow so was rather looking forward to it. My relaxed attitude soon disappeared though when Andrew announced that he was going out to Luton with some mates, he wouldn't be dissuaded and left around five thirty and within half an hour is started to snow. I wasn't that concerned because the snow was thin and light and I could hear the trains running up and down. However by nine the snow had got thicker and was beginning to settle. Thankfully Andrew and his mates have more sense than I give them credit for and he returned home around nine thirty. By the time we went to bed there was at least an inch covering the ground and it was still falling. I actually felt a little excited because I love snow provided I don't have to travel in it.

Andrew suffered the effects of the snow this morning. He turned up for his paper round only to discover the papers had not arrived so he returned home and waited for the newsagent to call when they came in. It was almost ten when the call came and it took him ages to do the delivery because he couldn't use his bike and it was heavy going underfoot. He arrived home cold and wet and definitely not as thrilled with the snow as he had been a couple of hours before.

The other person I'm concerned about is Laurence who is currently working nights. He would have left work for home around eight this morning so at least he wouldn't be driving in the dark. I am tempted to ring him but if he is asleep after a long night shift that will not make me very popular. I suspect if he had a problem getting home we'd have heard about it by now so I can only assume he is OK. He usually rings us on Sunday so I'll just have to wait for his call.

The cats are also not in the best frame of mind. Too cold to go out and take their constitutionals they are far from sleepy, instead they are bad tempered and spar with each other at every given opportunity. They have been out, there are paw prints in the snow, but by the look of them it was a quick trip to do the necessary and straight back in again. When not glaring at each other they glare at me as though it is all my fault. I have put some extra food down in the hope they will eat well and then want to sleep it off. If they do we might actually get a few hours peace.

So excited it is the start of the six nations rugby this weekend and Wales are playing Ireland today. The odds are a little against us, but then they always are when it comes to Ireland, but we have beaten them and in recent memory. I have claimed the sofa and have crisps, popcorn and a small bottle of cider on standby. Of course I would prefer it if Wales win but whatever the outcome I'm going to love it.

Of course not everyone loves the snow, especially those that have to get to work in it. However this being a Sunday you would expect fewer problems wouldn't you. This though is Britain and one thing Britain doesn't do is snow. At the first sign of the first flake air, rail and road travel are thrown into chaos. Part of the problem is with the British way of thinking. As a nation we firmly believe 'it will never happen to us' and dislike being told what to do. As a consequence pleas from the authorities to stay indoors unless the journey is urgent usually fall on deaf ears and before you know it there are dozens of badly prepared motorists stuck on a motorway somewhere. Countries who have heavy snow falls every year don't do this. At the beginning of the winter they begin to stock pile nonperishable food stuffs, candles, primus stoves and calor gas. They listen to the forecasts and if they are told to stay at home they batten down the hatches and stay put. The Brits go 'rubbish it'll never get that bad they are just panicking' and are then amazed to find themselves stuck in a blizzard in a tee shirt. And what makes this situation sadder is from year to year we don't learn from these mistakes.

We are expecting more snow overnight and then a thaw. I will doing what I did last night. Snuggling under a duvet on the settee, drinking hot chocolate and watching a DVD. Stay warm.

No News Is Good News, I hope

Well it was drug delivery day today and you'll never guess, yes I'm short of things again. This time it is gloves, they really do not like giving me gloves, and needles. So it is another phone call, another explanation of how many gloves I use a day etc and more money wasted because they alway send the missing items by first class post.

Despite everything I slept better last night but did wake up at one point absolutely freezing and no wonder, we hit minus nine last night. Breakfast, the newspaper and a nice cuppa and then my wait for the phone call from Harefield began. My worst fear is that I'd end up waiting all weekend if I don't hear today and I feel that would be very unfair. Even if it is bad news just tell me goddammit!

Unable to take it anymore I cracked around two and phoned them. My coordinator wasn't in today it seems but will be back Monday. Brilliant! Now I have the whole weekend to ponder what might or might not be. The person I spoke to confirmed my results were in and that they were having a meeting on Monday about them. She would put a note in to my coordinator to ring me after the meeting. How infuriating is that? Of course I immediately began to think that the reluctance to tell me anything meant bad news. Logical, sensible me knows the hospital red tape and knows that no one will tell you anything if you are not their patient. Unfortunately the panicky, doom merchant side of me is busy convincing itself that I am about to be refused, and at the moment that side is winning. I know tomorrow I will be looking at everything in an entirely different light. After all nothing has changed, I know no more than I did yesterday and I haven't been turned down yet. Where there is hope....

Part of the reason I call Harefield instead of waiting for them to call me is that I desperately wanted to get out and do some shopping for the weekend. The weather is closing in and my region is expecting very heavy snow late tomorrow and into Sunday. Our village tends to get snowed in very quickly so I wanted to make sure we had enough of the basics should the worst happen. I managed to walk around Tesco, albeit slowly, without help from wheelchair or oxygen so proof at last that I am better. We then decided to do a quick visit to Costco as I wanted to stock up on some bit and pieces so we headed for the motorway, which is currently a building site. The way our junction works is that we have a bridge over the motorway with four slip roads attached, two southbound, two northbound, each of which is controlled by traffic lights. At best it can be very confusing and there have been some nasty accidents when people have confused which set of lights refers to them. Today it was absolute chaos as the lights were out and the north bound slip road onto the motorway was shut so that traffic had to use the new slip road about four hundred meters further along. There was a great deal of horn honking, tyre squealing and arm waving as drivers tried to work out who had right of way and find the slip road they wanted. There was no sign of anyone trying to control the confusion and we only just spotted the small yellow plaque pointing us towards our exit at the last minute. How there hasn't been an accident there yet I don't know but if there isn't one before the weekend is out I'll eat my hat.

Planning a bit of a cook/bake weekend. I've bought some chicken and veg and will be making a huge stew, some of which I will freeze for later in the week. I'm also planning to make some bread and maybe a few cheese scones to have hot for tea on Sunday. I'm rather looking forward to being snowed in.

Don't Keep Me Hanging On The Telephone

Doesn't it make you sick that yet another cancer drug, this time for prostate cancer, has been deemed too expensive to give to patients and yet the NHS are still offering free removal, and in some cases replacement, of breast implants. How can anyone justify funding a vanity procedure over a drug that could extend or even save lives? It defies belief and shows just how skewed priorites have become in the good old NHS.

A restless night was predicted and a restless night I had, though to be honest it was probably my own fault. I felt hungry around ten last night so went into the kitchen for a snack. Usually if I have the late night munchies I settle for something bland like cereal, toast or bread and butter. Last night bland wasn't going to cut it so I settled for the worst of all possible combinations, cheese and pickle. I really enjoyed it but it hated me and as a result I had difficulty getting off to sleep in the first place and then kept waking up. No matter how tempting, that will be the very last time I eat cheese so late.

Temperatures fell to minus six last night and could barely reach zero by midday. They are set to fall further still tonight and snow is expected over the weekend. Oh goody! Actually I don't mind the snow as long as I don't have to go anywhere in it. We shouldn't really moan though as this winter hasn't been anywhere as bad as last year and this may be the only real cold snap we get. I've noticed that the evenings are getting lighter at last so spring isn't that far away.

Andrew is more up beat this morning. I suspect he has reviewed his performance and decided that maybe he didn't do as badly as he thought. Hope he's right but we are not likely to find out for a good few weeks as they are interviewing through to March.

Spent the day waiting for the phone call from Harefield regarding my antibodies. As is typical when you are expecting an important call you get loads of calls you don't want and I jumped each time the phone rang. Of course the scammers were out in force today and by early afternoon I was a nervous wreck. By five I was gibbering but no call so I'm going to have to go through it all again tomorrow. I really think its bad when you are promised a call but they don't, especially with something as crucial as this. Even if they couldn't give an answer they should still call to explain why. People understand delays in labs etc, it is the not knowing anything that eats you up. Ah well another restless night to look forward to then.

The Owl And The Pussycat.

Finally feeling more like me and my appetite has returned. I have not yet dared to weigh myself but by the look and feel of my clothing I've lost the weight I put on and maybe a little more. Damn and blast it! I had breakfast for the first time in a week today so hopefully I'll soon be stuffing again, I have Mars bars on the shopping list in anticipation.

Didn't sleep that well last night but not because of my chest. I was thinking about Andrew's university interview this afternoon. He of course slept like the dead, typical. He seems excited but I wouldn't say nervous, that's the young for you, full of confidence. However he has cleaned his shoes something he NEVER does so at least he isn't so confident as to not make an effort. I asked him last night if he really wanted his freak of a mother coming with him to such an important event, baring in mind I'll be in a wheelchair and possibly on oxygen. He was lovely and said it didn't make a difference to him as long as I felt I was up to it. So I dressed up warm, slung the wheelchair and oxygen tank in the boot and went.

We arrived about fifteen minutes early and assembled in reception then it all went to pieces. The campus and college building were not exactly disabled friendly and we had to trek miles out of our way to get to lifts to take us up and down while the rest of the party had to hang around waiting for us. After the second such detour I decided that instead of holding everyone up I'd stay in the classroom we were using as a base and the tour could carry on without me, we'd have been there all day if we hadn't. The presentation was interesting, though not that informative and then it was time for the interview. Andrew found it more nerve wracking than he thought he would and by his own admission dried up on occasions and repeated himself from time to time. He's worried that he's blown it. I have tried to calm him down by saying they will be used to people being nervous and will realise that for many it will be their first ever interview. I don't think he is convinced but has accepted that if he doesn't get a firm offer he can always go through clearing or take a year out and try next year with hopefully better grades than he's been predicted. As for me I have everything crossed and want this for him more than I want a transplant.

The news story that caught my eye today is the sad demise of Ash the barn owl. This unfortunate creature was taking part in a falconry display at Colchester zoo when it was spooked, by what no one knows. The owl slammed into a window, fluttered into the meerkat enclosure and then onto a fence in the lion enclosure. Dazed it lost its footing and was batted out of the air by a lioness before the male grabbed it and ate it, mercifully quickly by all accounts. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I feel really sorry for the owl but the lion was only doing what lions do. The traumatised children will get over it eventually and have learned that nature is cruel and lions are not fluffy and cuddly. Hopefully the zoo will have also learned a lesson, don't hold falconry displays so close to the lion enclosure in future.

Another restless night looms as tomorrow I'm expecting the results of my antibody tests. I don't know why I'm so worried, they have been OK before but since the last reading I've had more surgery and loads of infections, all of which could affect the readings. I've been told not to worry and everything will probably be all right but there is this niggling doubt in the back of my mind that says there could be a problem. I hope I'm wrong.